Family Crisis

Rebecca - posted on 06/13/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am 20 years old and my brother is 23 years old. He smokes weed daily and drinks a lot and does and deals countless other drugs. My parents have sent him to rehab, which he only came back from worse. He has been kicked out of our house more times than I can count, but this time I think it might stick since I moved back in with my parents for a few months to offer support.
I thought the last straw would be when he beat my dad up, sending him to the hospital and trashed the house, but somehow my dad still wanted to take him in after that. My dad is the ultimate enabler and will do anything for his son. My mom and I are at home living in fear because he is physically and verbally abusive. We have court order of protection, but it's basically useless because my dad allows him on the property.
He seems to think that my parents owe him everything, fix his car (he's on car number 6, i think), give him money, pay for his food and apartment so that he can sit on his a$$ and do no thing but do drugs and drink.
Today he came home late/early in the morning (around 4 or 5 am) and said he had no where to go. My dad went out back to set up a tent for him to sleep in, even though he should have been getting ready for work. He knocked on the door later asking to come in to shower, and my mom of course said no (as i think she should). He then went off on a suicidal rant and when she asked if there was anything she could do, his response was "kill yourself." She has called him a number of times today and he has said those same things every time.
My mom asked me if I would back her in not allowing him back in the house and I agreed, his abuse is not something we should have to live with. At the same time she broke down because if he harmed himself she would never forgive herself.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her. She doesn't know what to do. My dad is at work but we both know when he finds out he's gonna wanna take him back in.
We feel scared to call the cops because he may damage things or hurt someone to get back at us... But he is suicidal, so do we shove that fear aside and look out for his best interest? He's been like this before, and it always seems to get better when my parents allow him back in the house, but I don't think thats gonna happen again.
Anyone been in a situation like this? What did you do? Any advice? I'm not his mother but my mom has come to me for support and to have her back because sometimes her husband doesn't.

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Robin - posted on 06/13/2014

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If your brother is actively suicidal or violent and you are afraid to call the police, you can try calling your local community services board. They all have 24 hour crisis lines. If you are not sure of the number to your local CSB, you can also try calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will answer the phone in any city 24/7. The number is 1-800-273-8255.

I would also suggest taking a Mental Health First Aid class. The class is often free and it teaches you how to recognize and respond to people who are having a mental health crisis, substance abuse crisis, or if they are suicidal. You can find instructors and classes on www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org.

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