family custody

Takisha - posted on 07/30/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband sister is bipolar, and mentally retarded. The sister had a child and the father has schizophrenia. We have full custody of the 3 year old. It has been he'll having her in our home. I believe something is wrong with her. I can't take it anymore and I told my husband that he needs to tell his mother it's time for her to be with them now. The behavior the little girl display is mind blowing for a child going on 4 in 3 months. We had her since she was 1 years old. I have taken her to the doctor and it was said to me being both parents have mental illnesses 9 out of 10 she probably will too. The little girl was taken by cps right after birth and placed in foster care. The foster parent has given us problems making up lies to get the little girl back due to receiving $1500 a month for the little girl. The foster parent was not doing right by her. Taking the money using it to repair their home. So when we ended up with her they couldn't get the house completed as they planned. So, the foster mom took us to court for visitation and got it. Due to taking care of the little girl. I did not want to get the little girl because me and my husband family never got along. An interesting knew they had a lot of drama with them. Drugs, was a factor for them. Since then the sister has made threats online to me and her brother for taking her daughter in. My husband and I already have 4 children of our own. I was done with babies. Anyhow, the little girl has temper tantrums, cries about everything, destroy our things,doesn't listen, lies at 3,banged her head on floor, bites, yells, and can't keep her hands off things. The little girl talks to herself sometimes,and hits people. I have shown my husband videos of her acting out while he is at work for proof that something is wrong. I don't know what to do. I can't worry about what's wrong with the little girl because I have 4 kids of my own to raise. I'm considering leaving my husband behind the little girl. Oh did I mention she urinate, and BMW on herself all the time. None of her father side of the family wants to be bothered, and no one on my husband side doesn't ask about her or see her. My husband sister does nothing for her, she takes her skin check pays her potion of rent and buys weed with the rest. Then in February the father was murdered. It's just too much for me to deal with. Then, on top of that the mom and grandma took us to court last year for custody and lost due to living in a hotel. After the court date the mom and daughter moved to Florida but has visitation rights but never exercised it. Now they both share a apartment and still haven't made no way of getting themselves together enough to take the little girl. So, I don't know what to do. All I know is she can't stay with us. Me and my kids are scared she may try to harm one of us. I know it sounds crazy but, she is not an ordinary 3 in a half year old. I need advice on what to do before I call it quits with my husband. He don't want her to leave because he feels he is all she have. But, sees the frustration she is causing in our home. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.

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Sally - posted on 07/30/2016

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This little girl went through TRAUMA being removed from her parents. Even as a baby it is a loss they experience. Then throw in the loss of foster parent and of course she is acting out. I know this must be terribly hard for you, but she needs therapy, empathy and love. Work with child services and get her the support she needs. I am sure there is respite care for her, but OMG I would take her in a heart beat. She is a baby who who needs help, please don't give up on her and do right by her. How old are your kids? I know it's hard, but there's services available. It is WAY too young to be talking about mental illness, let's focus on her therapy and treatment for the profound loss she has experienced in the three short years she's been alive.

Dove - posted on 07/30/2016

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Oh that poor little girl. How horrible that no one wants her. :(

Is she receiving therapy? If you can't and won't take care of her she needs to be w/ someone who can/will. She likely needs a lot of help and therapies and constant monitoring by someone willing and able to devote the time and care necessary to help her reach her full potential.

Jodi - posted on 07/30/2016

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My apologies, I misread the post, I have re-read it can see that now. But it doesn't sound like the grandmother is in a position to raise her either.

Takisha - posted on 07/30/2016

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I was not giving her back to her mother. The little girl was supposed to live with the grandmother. I would never want her mother to have her.

Jodi - posted on 07/30/2016

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Contact child protection and tell them you can't take care of the child any more. Clearly you can't do right by her. Her mother can't do right by her (so why you would want to give her back to her mother is beyond me). Maybe it is time for this child to be taken in by someone who CAN care for her. Child protection can assess whether the mother is in fact fit to parent or not, and if not, place her in a home where she can be cared for. Obviously it isn't ideal, and I really feel for this poor little girl because she is clearly impacted by the drugs her mother probably took during her pregnancy and the life she has been given since then (any little girl would not be normal if they'd had to endure that).

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