Family drama during christmas, what do I tell my kids?

Elizabeth - posted on 12/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I invited my Mother, Aunt, Grandma and 15 year old brother over to my house for Christmas Morning. My mom and I had not spoke in over a week. So I tool the initative to make these plans and include my family for our morning christmas festivities with myself, my husband, my 4 year old son and 1 year old daughter. My mom refused to come and was extremely upset that I would not be going to her house on Christmas Day. I explained to her the reasons and she still played the me, me, me card. My aunt never got back to me on whether or not she was coming, she never showed up, none of them did, not even a phone call. How do I even react to this? Should I feel guilty? Should I even call her? What do I tell my kids about their grandma not coming to see them on Christmas?

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Jodi - posted on 12/27/2012

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I guess it depends on why you weren't going to her house on Christmas Day. Obviously it was expected for some reason, explaining why she was upset. But really, until everyone accepted your invitation, you probably shouldn't even have told your kids that it was happening.....over the years, I've learned that with the kids. When you promise them something that will happen, they very much hold you to it, so best not to say anything.

Given you did tell them, perhaps you can just tell them that even though you had invited them, they had other plans and hadn't been able to come. No need to tell them all the other crap. Children are amazingly accepting. In fact, it is now a couple of days later, chances are they've already moved on and won't be dwelling on it the way you are.

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Elizabeth - posted on 12/28/2012

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Jodi- A couple of years ago he told me to my face that he hoped my baby died at birth, that raised a HUGE red flag for me and my husband. Again, my mother did nothing and he also said this in her presence.

Jodi - posted on 12/27/2012

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Oh, ok, I just assumed you had because you were wondering what to tell them and they were wondering why she hadn't come over. Still, I think you will find they are already over it.

Are you really worried your 15 year old brother would hurt them? I mean, he was just venting on FB. Little kids are a pain in the arse for 15 year olds, they really are. He was probably just expressing that I can understand why she just brushed it off.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/27/2012

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@Jodi Oh, I did not tell my children anything regarding their grandma coming or not coming for Christrmas. We had not spoken to eachother due to nasty comments my 15 year old brother posted on facebook about him not liking my kids at his house visiting with my mom. I told my mom about the comments and she brushed it off. I was concerned about my kids going over with out me or my husband and she was not understanding why "I was making a big deal out of it." as she put it. I think I have every right to be concerned when it comes to my children and their safety. I really do believe that if my brother was abusive or mean to them, my mom would hide it from me in fear of me not letting my kids go over anymore unsupervised. I know my son would tell me, but I am not taking the chance to let something happen.

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