Crystallynne - posted on 01/08/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am 31 year old, never married) single mom who works and comes come every night. I don't go out. I don't date. I work side jobs when and if available. But my father and stepmom don't seem to think that I take care of my 2 year old daughter (3 in April) the way I should. Nor have the lifestyle behavior that they think I should have. Let me just say, my daughter is healthy, happy, she's in an excellent daycare, wants for nothing (not that she is spoiled), eats healthy, and is extremely smart. I do not give my daughter sweets, not do I let her run in the house, I occasionally give her yogurt or one small bite of a cookie or something. They say I'm too hard on her, that I don't talk to her right, to relax let her play. Really? I understand they don't want me to make the same mistakes they did but this is my child, whom I love more than anything and ALWAYS puts her first and foremost. I may have made more than a few bad choices after I turned 18, drugs, alcohol, partying, and also getting in trouble with the law. And yes I have a few beers some nights after my daughter is asleep. But hello! Wake up! I am not that same person. I go to work and come home and play with my daughter, cook her dinner, give her a bath, lay with her, etc. I care about my daughter and yes I might be struggling a little bit right now cause of a month I was out of work, but she is still taken care of. They keep saying to me that if I keep up my behavior that I'm going to lose my daughter. My stepmom even went as far as saying that she hopes I have a document that says who takes care of my daughter if anything happens. And then has the nerve to turn around and inquire about taking my daughter to her house (which is 9 hours away, but still in the same state) for a week. My only thought was "are you freaking serious? After saying that I'm not good enough, that I'm still in my old ways, and that I don't take care of my daughter the right way". I love both of them but am absolutely not comfortable with them taking my daughter away, my fear is that I'm going to a judge or court up there in claiming that I do this I do that the concern for my daughter's well-being they need temporary custody, and then Bam I'm stuck in hey court situation trying to fight my daughter back and try to prove that I am a good mother when I am a good mother. My biological mother on the other hand is really cause in the batting anxiety attacks. I'm letting her get to me. Her role as a grandmother I believe crossing the boundaries.for example she called me after she has my daughter once a week and tells me what she did with my daughter that works the best. And when he's around and I'm trying to talk to my daughter and tell her no and explain to her why and try to discipline her, my mother always always intervenes. I've asked her not to but she still continues to do so. Tries to tell me I need to switch daycare's to her convenience for picking my daughter up once a week. My daughter likes to sleep in bed with me. I don't mind. But my mom seems have a problem with. When I talk to her in the morning she asks if my daughter slept in her own bed, I reply no, and she gets this nasty tone saying "why not". My opinion, it's none of her business, this is my daughter! Also when my mom calls and I don't answer 2 seconds later she texts me saying "trying to call you". It's all bitter and nasty about it. I mean I am a single mom taking care of her daughter by yourself without asking any help from my family, I do you stay busy. But heaven forbid when if she takes my daughter on Friday night and I call and call and call and call and no response. I mean she has my daughter, so shouldn't she answer my calls or answer my texts?? And if I try and talk to her about it she gets all defensive, saying she's busy taking care of my daughter, what does she think I do all week? One more thing, this has been driving me insane ever since my daughter started staying overnight at my moms once a week. She reminds me every time before I drop my daughter off she's out of pull-ups or out of wipes, always having me provide them for house. Why do I have to provide for her house as well. I know it's my daughter but she's the one who wants to take her overnight. She should start supplying for her own house. Especially since money is extremely tight for the next month. Im exhausted and need advice!! Honestly I just feel like moving away and not leaving a forwarding address and change my number and only call when I want. But I know I wouldn't do that. How to I put the everyday communication between my mother and me to just a few times a week?
Desperately in need of some grandparent boundaries. Need help.
What can I do about my nosy, intervening, bitter bio grandma?
And what advice on letting my daughter go to stay with my dad and stepmom for a week.