Family Planning & Autism

Mary - posted on 12/27/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Me & my fiancé are undecided to have children or not. My fiancé's niece has autism. No one else in the family has any mental illness or disorders. I see how much his sister struggles with her daughters autism and I am deathly afraid of having a child with autism since it is not decided whether it is inherited or if it's environmental or whatever. Since his niece is the only one that has autism, do you think I should try to have my own family? I'm sorry if this sounds selfish and I'm not trying to be mean but I'm just really afraid and undecided on what to do. Personally I would love to have my own children and so afraid that I would have to a child with autism.

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Jodi - posted on 12/27/2013

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Here's the thing, when you have a child, you get what you get. If it isn't autism, it might be ADD, or it might be a congenital heart defect, it might be feeding problems, they may contract meningitis, they may have cancer, and yet, they may be perfectly fine. None of us ever know when we first choose to have children. The odds are our children will be perfectly ok. But when it comes to having children, there are no guarantees. Ever. Autism could be the least of your worries. Maybe if you are not prepared to accept whatever child you bring into this world, you are not ready to have children.

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Mary - posted on 12/28/2013

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I know I'm ready to have children. It's all I dream of. I'm just not sure how mentally prepared ill be if I had a child with autism. I fear autism more cause I see it all the time. ADHD kids, at least to my knowledge they are okay on medication whereas autism there is no medication. I'm sorry if I sound selfish I'm just right now speaking out of fear and not knowing what I should do.

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