Family sex abuse

Krista - posted on 06/06/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Daughter says dad touched her inappropriately. Investigation was unsubstantiated. Daughter refuses totalk to dad, refuses to see him. Dad continues to deny ever doing such a thing. Son still sees dad. Mom (me) so confused who to believe or how to fix family or even find closure. Will there ever be closure. Sometimes feel at fault, still after a year. No one to talk to no friends support. So alone. HELP! Such an awful positon on the middle hesaid she said. Sometimes want to go away

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E.V. - posted on 06/07/2015

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It's normal to feel at fault or even helpless. As someone who works in the legal field and dealt with family law on both a personal and work level, just because there was not enough to substantiate a legal claim does not mean what your daughter said is false. Be strong for yourself and for her while continuing to be there for her. I was raised in a house filled with dv, emotional abuse and a lot of negativity in general. There are people out there who have gone through similar things and survived. It's going to be a long and hard journey, but don't lose faith and hope for time will heal both you and your daughter. I highly recommend having her go through counseling if she's willing to talk to someone about her life and the situation as a whole. Sometimes we just need a third party to confide in as we heal from our wounds. The age of your children also should be taken into consideration. There are lots of helpful resources out there like boards like this, so please don't give up. It's much easier said than done, but try focusing on you and your family. You and your daughter need to heal from the event and I'm sorry that you're not getting the support you need.

Krista - posted on 06/06/2015

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I try to stay strong. However sometimes I feel useless, I sometimes feel at fault. There was a bit of dv going on over the years. Physical and later emotional. Her father says maybe it's all about me so she made up this lie to get us out. I believe that something happened she willingly spoke to the social worker and the detective alone, I do not believ that she would go that far with a lie..because there is no evidence and it's a he said she said they say its unsubstantiated and case is closed of course he refers to that letter and insists she is lying. I decided to not go back to the house after the investigation because things juast woukld not be the same . I djust don't know how people survive this and continue on. My son still visits, he does not know anything. I thank you for your comment. It's been so hard even people we have known things have changed the support went to him not my daughter or me

E.V. - posted on 06/06/2015

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This is a very sensitive subject matter which needs to be handled delicately for it has psychological, social and legal consequences. As someone in the legal field and mother, I highly recommend that you speak with a counselor first who is an uninterested third party that can professionally help you and your daughter through the situation then decide whether you guys would like to proceed legally. If your daughter was sexually abused by her father, you may want to seek a restraining order against him from further contact with her. Based upon the information provided, I would definitely look further into the situation for something most likely happened if your daughter has shut her father out completely.

I wish you and your daughter the best and pray that everything works out for you both. My heart pours out to you both. Stay strong for her.

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