FAS-Bi Polar

Kathy - posted on 05/07/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

3

0

1

I have a 20 year old son. I am 60 and my husband and I adopted this little boy when he was 2. My husband passed away 3 years ago. Since then Chance has stuggled, been in trouble and now has to go to Job Corp. It is taking longer to get him to job corp than anyone thought. He is very mean mouthed; every comment to me is "F You" "F off" ect, He throws things and has the 2 dogs scared to death. I tell him to move and he looks at me and says bad things. I am trying to be patient untill he gets to job corp, but it is getting very hard.

2 Comments

View replies by

Kathy - posted on 05/08/2015

3

0

1

Thank you, I agree, put the rules in writing and if he doesn't follow the rules then he needs to find someother place to live. He takes meds for bi-polar (invega and Latuda) but I do agree he still needs to be held accountable for his actions. I will keep you posted on the list, which I am writing this morning and will have him sign it.
Thank you Kathy

Raye - posted on 05/08/2015

3,761

0

21

He is an adult, and he needs to learn to act like one. If he's living with you, you need to write up a contract. You should spell out under what conditions he can remain with you. No rude/disrespectful language... no throwing things... keeping areas cleaned up, completing job corp... etc. Let him know that he will not have unlimited chances. There should be verbal warnings for minor things, written warnings for repeated minor offences or more serious things, and permanent eviction for a certain number of written warnings or one major offence. It will be up to him to follow these rules or find a new place to live. You should be firm with him. If he messes up, that's his choice, and he should have to live with the consequences. You should not feel bad for his choices.

FAS and Bi-polar may be an explanation for some of his behavior, but it is not an excuse. He still needs to learn to live in the real world and that means consequences. If you feel sorry for him and baby him, you're not helping. If he is experiencing severe symptoms of these afflictions, then he needs medical/psychological help and possible medication to control his symptoms.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms