FATHER

Daniel - posted on 02/23/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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MOTHERS ALWAYS GET THE UPPER HAND IN CUSTODY 98 percent of the time its sad

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Ev - posted on 02/25/2015

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Daniel,

I am one mother that did not get the upper hand when it came to custody. I also have seen several posts here about other women who have non-custodial status. The reasons vary of course.

My story is simple but the short end of it was this: Dad was ready for a fight for custody and he had resources that I did not have at the time. He and his lawyer offered joint custody where he was the primary care parent. Also at the time my lawyer pointed out the things against me to win custody and reminded me that he would have me back inside of a few months to try again. So instead of dealing with constant custody fights, I opted to make sure my kids felt like they had some stability in all this mess at least in their minds. I CHOSE TO LET THEM GO WITH THEIR FATHER TO LIVE AT HIS HOME. I could not imagine them worried about things and so this was the result. Neither they or I liked this idea but it was the only choice at the time.

I have been divorced for almost 13 years. In that time I have learned a lot about myself, my kids, and our relationship which is now more close that it ever was. I also learned a lot about non-custodial moms as well.

I think you have over estimated the percentage of mothers who actually have full, sole custody or the primary in joint custody.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/25/2015

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I notice that Daniel hasn't bothered to respond. Perhaps he was pissed because he had steps to follow for his own custody/visitation for his kids, and he failed to do so?

Jodi - posted on 02/25/2015

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Raye, it was Daniel I was asking, because his statement isn't based on fact.

Raye - posted on 02/24/2015

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Jodi, not sure if you were talking to me or Daniel. I shouldn't say that it's anything close to EVEN yet, but it's not the 2% of fathers that get custody as Daniel claims. According to the Census bureau, in 2009, the percentage of custodial parents that were fathers was at 17.8% (http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-...). In 2011 that number increased slightly to 18.3% (http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-...). That is roughly 1 in every 5 or 6 fathers that have custody. Although father-only families do constitute the smallest number of families with children in the United States, they have been growing at a faster rate than mother-only families and two-parent families.

Jodi - posted on 02/24/2015

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Could you please show where you got this statistic from to back up your statement?

Raye - posted on 02/24/2015

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Mothers do not always get the upper hand in custody disputes. It has been evening out over the last decade or so. It depends on many factors. My husband has custody of his two children, and their mom gets visitation.

So what has happened to you that prompted you to post on this forum?

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