father disapeared with my boys!!

Feliesha - posted on 09/08/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




hi my ex and I have two boys together we both re on birth cert and they were with me from birth till they were 2 and 3 years. my ex was the one who left and moved 6 hours away so I felt he should get to see them still so we agreed on two weeks switches. well it was not bad till once he refused to bring them home so I drove there to get them he wouldn't let me have them for a month then I talked him into letting me hve them back.....well I ended up seeing a guy he hated so that's when things got real bad..he started harassing me calling me threating me...he even broke into my house once while I was away locked my dog inside then came back after the dog destroyed and went to the bathroom everywhere he took pictures and tried pinning me for a bad mother..he even turned my main water off. anyways that Christmas I had them and I let him take them a day early cause well its Christmas.....that was the last time I seen my boys...I went there seen my son in the window he was so excited to see me but my ex closed the windows put my boys in a room and he called the cops. believe it or not cops made me leave they say cause we never went to court he don't have to return them to me..how horrible. atleast he let me talk on the phone to them but 6 months later everything came to a hault they dissapered. no calls no contact I don't know where my children are. its been three and a half years since I seen my children...they don't even know who I am anymore...im broken cause I cannot afford a lawyer to battle this but make to much for legal aide..don't know what to do...


Ev - posted on 09/09/2013




I have to totally agree with Jodi on this one. I also need to add that you should have done something a lot sooner than this to protect yourself and the boys. By having had a court order in place before all this mess, you could have saved a lot of grief. This is why I find it hard to believe that people think that because they have a verbal agreement that its valid and the other person won't change their minds all of a sudden about it. THat is WHY your kids are gone and you do not know anything of their location or well being. And for three and a half years or so, you have sat by and wondered instead of doing something to find them. I wish people would think things through instead of trusting the former partner's word. I wish they would do the right things and get the court orders in place before hand so things like this were less likely to happen. I read so many of these situations though most do not go this far. They were using common sense and got things done to protect everyone in the situation. Now they are fighting to get it how they want it.

I am not being mean here, this is reality. YOU did this yourself and you have yourself to blame for not doing the right things to start with.

I would start locating his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends etc and see if you can not find a location.

Next time you get into something like this, get that court document done.


View replies by

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2013




The cops are right. Because you never went to court, you both have equal rights to see the kids, and it seems like you are both using them as pawns. He won't let you, you won't let him, and so on. This is why I ALWAYS advise people to get court orders in place when they split up. The only people who end up hurt by this sort of behaviour are the children. At least with court orders in place, the law actually has jurisdiction to enforce it, but as it stands right now, he isn't doing anything illegal. Your only realistic option is to get a lawyer and file for custody/visitation. You should have done this the minute he withheld them from you, it would have been far less complicated.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms