Leah - posted on 05/04/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )
I found out I was pregnant when I was 23. My daughter's father and I didn't know each other well. Ill admit that we were not responsible or prepared for a child. Upon finding out I was with a child, things between him and I got rocky. We didn't know each other like we thought we did. There was trust issues and I did not try hard enough to keep him around, as its not my responsibility. It was rough but we always stayed in contact. 5 years later ( daughter is now 5) we came together and decided to try and be a family. I had moved out of state because my family was so controlling about everything. So when he moved in with us things were a lot easier without family opinions. Mostly opinions of us not being married, therefore we shouldn't be together. My family even tried to tell me to stay away from him. I tried to listen but I never agreed with them. My mom left me when I was a child and my dad was left to raise me. When my mom tried coming back into my life my family kept me away from her. I have always resented my family for doing that. My mom died when I was 18 and I never got to know her.
So my point is, I have allowed my daughter's father back in our life. It has not been easy for us, but we are 9 months strong as a family. There are challenges though. For example. My daughter likes dad around when he spoils her, but when dad tries to show discipline she will tell him that he needs to go away. She only wants mommy and no daddy. Again, when dad takes her fishing and buys nice things, she loves him so much. But when she acts out at school and goes home and is in time out by dad, she will tell him she doesn't like him anymore. I have explained to her that dad is the boss too, like mommy. I told her that dad is not gonna leave and he is staying now. Things have improved.
Another issue is that around the time he came back into our lives, we switched pre-schools. There was a lot of transition all at once. So now we have horrible behavior at school with acting out aggressively with yelling and spitting and kicking. We are baffled because we never see that behavior at home. I feel like my daughter and I are really opened with talking. She says that the girls at school are mean to her. I brought this to the teacher's attention after my daughter told me that a girl said she was gonna cut her hair off. The teacher said my daughter is a fibber. I was so upset.
So I have a lot going on in our family. I see how dad coming back into the picture can cause some problems with our daughter at school. However its been 9 months and things at home have improved while things at school are not. Is there any advice or any other mother out there in my situation?