Father not supporting his Child

Asha - posted on 04/26/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My friend had an affair which resulted in her having a baby, baby is now 2mths old and his father doesn't want anything to do with the Child, even though he had promised to take care of him while keeping it a secret from everyone including her husband...... She had been struggling to have a child for years with her husband without success, thats why she had the affair.....
I would really need some advice on what to tell her because she had confide in me, i know what she did was wrong but how do i encourage her to do the right thing on how to deal with this matter

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Ev - posted on 04/27/2016

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I have to agree with the others. All the lies are going to catch up to her and not in too short a time. I am surprised that her husband thinks the child is his given their history of not being able to have one. He needs to know the truth period. You may have to be the one to step in and tell him for the sake of him and that of the child. Your friend might loose her husband but she made a stupid choice in having an affair.

Dove - posted on 04/26/2016

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Does her husband know? If not... he has a right to know the truth. I would encourage her to come clean about everything (assuming he does not yet know) and to get a court order for custody, visitation, and child support w/ the biological father. She can not force him to be involved, but having court orders lets everyone know what their rights and responsibilities are. It is the only way to truly protect her child.

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Dove - posted on 04/27/2016

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I agree w/ Evelyn. If she doesn't tell him the truth I would have to let her know that I would do it. The child deserves the truth. I wouldn't be able to remain friends w/ her if she were not willing to come clean either.

Asha - posted on 04/27/2016

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I have been encouraging her to tell her husband the truth before he gets too attached to the child, all i can say is that she's afraid to face the consequences, to face the disappointment from family and friends.
Thanks guys

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2016

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You know, if she files for child support, her husband will find out. There is a saying - you can't have your cake and eat it too. Sounds like your friend wants her cake and she wants to eat it.

Firstly, she needs to be honest with her husband. Right now, she is living a lie. This isn't fair on anyone. And one day, the truth WILL come out. It always does. They call it karma. She had an affair. She now needs to face the music. There are other ways to get pregnant if you are having trouble with it than by having an affair. How fucking stupid. Her husband deserves the truth.

Michelle - posted on 04/26/2016

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So does her husband think the child is his?
Why is she wanting the Father to support the child when they haven't told her husband?
I agree with Dove, her husband needs to be told the truth. In the long run it's the best for everyone, including the child.

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