Father of baby wants an "Abortion."

[deleted account] ( 36 moms have responded )

We've been trying to figure out why is it that he breaks out when he's at my house. He has eczema and sensitive skin. According to him he only break out at my house. No one else that I have ever known that's been to my house on many occasions have not broken out so that's strange to me. So, he saids that if he's allergic to me or whats in my house. He's going to be allergic to what comes out of me. He said he can handle the break outs but the baby can't it's defenseless....Is there any truth to this or is he just being paranoid. To be totally honest I'm tired of hearing about it because I'm not aborting my baby.

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Cassie - posted on 02/13/2012

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Sounds like he wants out of his responsibility as a father, so let him, have him sign away his rights and be done with him. I bet his "allergy" goes away.,

Pamela - posted on 02/14/2012

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A man who wants you to abort his child for whatever reason IS NOT GOOD PARENT material. End the relationship and move on.



Keep the baby and realize that there are men in this world who will love and marry you when you have another's child. I know. My second husband accepted me and my son, who was not his biologically and was 9 years old when we married. He treated my son equally as he treated the children we had together.



Whatever is causing the rash is causing the rash, but it is a very poor excuse to use to ask someone to abort their child. This is a BIG RED FLAG waving in your face. Heed the message and move on asap!!!

Diana - posted on 02/13/2012

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I have to ask if he breaks out when you are at his house? If he does, then he is allergic to something you wear. If not, then he is allergic to something in your house, specifically. It sounds like he's wanting you to get an abortion just because he doesn't want the baby. I would terminate parental rights and get him out of your and the baby's life. The baby will be able to feel that the dad doesn't want him. It's best to not put the baby through that kind of negitivity.

Donna - posted on 02/13/2012

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Sounds like he needs to go to the doctor and get a test done for allergies. Also, dump the guy, he's making too many excuses, sounds like a dead beat.

Stifler's - posted on 02/13/2012

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that's insane sorry. you can't be allergic to someone whos pregnant or a baby. he's making up whack excuses.

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36 Comments

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Donna - posted on 02/15/2012

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Your boyfriend is using this as an excuse to not step up and be a father. God Bless you for not aborting your baby.

Jessica - posted on 02/15/2012

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What a load of BS!!! Does he break out when he is around you and you are not in your house? If so it could be some soap, fragrance or detergent you are using. If not it could be something someone else in your house uses. He is probably getting hives from anxiety perhaps over becoming a father. However if he is claiming he is going to be "allergic" to your baby cut him loose. Tell him you had the abortion or whatever you need to tell him to get him to go away and get him the heck out of your life! Yes some babies have excema (whether or not it is genetic would be a question for your Dr) but they survive through it, babies are more resilient than many people think. Either which way dump the loser and keep your precious baby!

Vicki - posted on 02/15/2012

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Your boyfriend is an idiot. He wants to murder his child to avoid a rash... I am proud of you for not going along with murder.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/15/2012

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Just tell him it's a minor skin condition not a severe birth defect and many babies get it along with many adults.



Then tell him to grow a pair and wish him luck on finding his next girlfriend.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/15/2012

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WTF???? Tell him not to come over then. That is the lamest fucking excuse for ANYTHING I have ever heard. Take him to the doctors with you your next baby appointment, and have THEM tell him how stupid he is.

Geeta - posted on 02/15/2012

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This guy is so full of crap, I will stay so far away from him but keep your baby he have an allergy all right and that seem to be commitment . I see he have cause u great harm so much that you can't see this yourself if he breaks out it have to be something that he is allergic to but not you or your baby.

Tina - posted on 02/14/2012

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The breakout are more than likely anxiety because he doesn't want this baby. Besides what ever it is wont necessarily cause your child to have the same problems. It could be as simple as a fragrance or even dust that causes his break outs which is more likely to be the case. I'd tell your partner to get lost as for your baby just try not to use fragrances and even talk to your doctor about what can cause outbreaks and how to prevent it. Even if the baby does have eczema there are ways to control outbreaks and relieve symptoms I have eczema. My brother in law had eczema as a baby he got through it. My sister had it she's fine now.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/14/2012

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Oh dear itchy skin! Your boyfriend needs some serious help. All you need to do is get some lotion and maybe hydro cortizone cream and the baby will be fine. Avoid frequent hot baths and also use a lot of the Johnson and Johnson baby oil gel, That's what I use on my daughter.

Alexandra - posted on 02/14/2012

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No, sweety, there is no truth to this. Actually, this is a very strange thing to say! He is alergic to you? Or to your house? What is that to be alergic to a person? I don't mean to make you upset but if I were you, I would be very mad. Your boyfriend to have things straigthen out and give you some respect. But I have a feeling there is something else going on that you don't know about. I am sorry.

Jenni - posted on 02/14/2012

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1-2 children out of 10 have eczema. It's a very common condition. My son and daughter both have mild eczema. It's the most absurd excuse I've heard to get out of being a parent.

Julie - posted on 02/14/2012

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Get genetics counseling to see if there's any truth to the matter, just so you are prepared. But boot the boyfriend to the curb anyway. What an ass. Plenty of newborns survive with eczema. Creep.

Jennifer - posted on 02/14/2012

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This man is ridiculous! Kick him out of your house if he doesn't like it, and move on with your life. Anyone that is so ignorant as to try to convince you to have an abortion because he is "allergic to you" is pretty sick and trying to play you a fool.

Diane - posted on 02/14/2012

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I agree his "break out" is from stress. He obviously doesn't want to be a dad, and probably wants out. This "situation" ties him to you and the relationship.

Set him free. Best for everyone. The child still needs a Dad, and if that is possible, then let it be, but don't try to prolong a stressful union. It won't end nicely and you have allot more to think about now than the two of you.

Good Luck.

Joan - posted on 02/14/2012

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If he is "allergic" to what comes out of you, in this case the baby, was he "allergic" to what came out of you. By that, I mean the fluids after having sex with him?







After looking at your user name, "fiveandahalfkids", where is / are the father(s) to the other 5 children?

Kullo-Egelton - posted on 02/14/2012

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You keep the baby you own the job. He obviously does not want to be a Dad so get rid of him and his flimsy excuses. If you want to be a Mom expect no help from the Dad in raising this child. Babies are wonderful but a great responsibility to raise. They are not toys or something you own. They are a gift and a short term one at that. Hopefully you have lots of support from other family members and I mean from both family sides. Just because he does not want to be a Dad does not mean his parents do not want to be Grandparents.

If you decide to have your baby and lack supports from family consider an open adoption where you remain in your child's life but parents who are financially equipped with a large support base ready to help them welcome a child in their lives offer you and your child another option.

Kelly - posted on 02/14/2012

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The baby is defenseless alright but only to his desire to abort! If he continues with that excuse for abortion I would have him share that one with his Doctor and then sit back and enjoy the show. That is the goofiest reason for an abortion that I have ever heard and personally I think there is no excuse but that is a whole other angle. Tell him you are keeping the baby "end of discussion". That can be the consequence of having sex and now he needs to deal with it. If he really believes what he says then he has mental issues. He needs to book an appointment with a allergist and have them test for all allergies. If he wont then tell him to shut up. Your choice to stay connected to this fool or not.

Andrea - posted on 02/14/2012

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Good for you!!!! Don't give your baby's innocent life up on account of him. Ask yourself, was he allergic when he was helping 2 make the baby? The most important thing about it, God is against it. Get your Bible and read Titus 2:4. That telling us that we must show love, giving time, and attention to the children. Colossians 3:21 is about not irritating the children (showing how much God loves them). Read your Bible and pray incessantly to God at all times, not just when you need help but also to thank Him. I pray you keep your firm stand on your choice of keeping that wonderful bundle of joy. I'm a single mother of 5 children with no help from their father. My oldest just turned 18, my youngest is about to turn 10. I miss when they were babies. Times may get hard but always remember anyone can have a baby but it takes a "REAL" mother to raise them. If you're ever feeling all alone, pray (even when you're crying) to God and he'll help you throughout your journey in life. Always pray and have CONSTANT faith.

Disebo - posted on 02/14/2012

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Clearly this man is not interested in you or his child, the first thing is to look at cleaning products used in the house,lotions, bath soaps and even washing powders and perfumes,or flowers. He personalised this thing and made it about you i would think twice. GOOD LUCK

User - posted on 02/13/2012

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Terminate his parental rights? Thats crazy! He may very well get over it once the bundle of joy gets here. In the meantime maybe he should Get some benedryl.

Vivian - posted on 02/13/2012

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I remember I was in a relationship that was extremely stressful and I would break out in hives (raised bumpy red spots that disappeared after a few hours) almost every day. I thought it was something in my apartment or what I would eat, etc. After getting out of that relationship, my hives slowly went away. Happened to my mom too from stress. It could be he's breaking out in hives from the stress or fear of having a baby to be responsible for. Regardless, there are plenty of anti allergy meds that he can take if needed and if the baby ends up allergic to anything, you can deal with that with his/her pediatrician when or if that even happens.

[deleted account]

I want to thank everyone for the responses everyone has a good point. To answer Cynthia's question...I have seen a few bumps here and there on his face stomach and back that comes and goes but an actual rash i haven't seen anything like that. I think he may be a little fearful of the fact that he's going to be a father. i think he'll come around.

Erin - posted on 02/13/2012

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Ask him to have allergy tests done & if he does; try to find / eliminate what ever it is in your house that is setting him off.



If he does NOT agree to the allergy testing and continues to pursue this "abortion" pushing. Grant him his wish & have him sign away his rights (just make sure to get it notarized ~easy enough at your local bank or library).



If he is just scared of the responsibility, that may subside once he realizes he has none. He may well come around after the baby is born.



Don't hold your breath, tho... You will need to prepare as much as possible for new baby; rally any support people you have in your life & get on with it!!!



My dear hubby & I had our 1st baby 21 YEARS ago. He was pretty scared & suggested we weren't ready & that I should abort. I told him I would go along with what ever his decision was and we would discuss it later in the week after we've had time to think about it. The next day while he was at work (I was off that day) I called my mom, told her the sit, asked if I could move home to have baby there if he chose abortion... Mom agreed. (I never told any of this). Friday came & I asked him what his decision was....

He said, I love you so much and anything that has come out of our love for each other must be a good thing. I think you should have the baby...



I was elated & called mom later to let her know I wouldn't be coming home...

But the point is, I was prepared to do what I needed to do for a defenseless child.

There is a child inside of you depending on you, who needs you way more than his dad does.



Best of luck to you :)

Kelina - posted on 02/13/2012

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It might be for something as simple as what you use to clean or it could be a physical manifestation of a psychological problem. I had mom issues. Whenever I went to visit my mom after I moved out I got a "cold" It never lasted long, but always made me miserable for a day or so. It could be that this is his minds way of making him face how he really feels about becoming a dad. And really, wanting an abortion because the baby "could" have eczema is ridiculous. If his parents had thought the same way, he wouldn't be here.

LaLasha - posted on 02/13/2012

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Why have a child with him? Terminate his parental rights and get on with it. Secondly why did you hold up your end and take your birth control? I take it he was honey about not wanting a child? Why get pregnant by someone that doesn't want a child least of all with you? Sounds like torture to me.

Jenni - posted on 02/13/2012

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I personally would take it as he's making up *very strange* excuses to convince you to get an abortion because he doesn't want a baby.



Who would abort a baby for the sole reason he *might* get a rash? I have never heard of a human being being allergic to another human being. It's very possible he could be allergic to something in your house, or something that you wear (a certain fabric, perfume). In which case, he should be having an allergy test done.



But saying he wants you to get an abortion because he's going to be allergic to the baby is just a very pathetic excuse to probably hide how he really feels.



Think of it this way, if someone really wants a baby. Are they going to let something as non-serious as a *possible* mild allergy stop them from having a baby? That sounds like an absurd rational for abortion. He should man up and be honest with you like an *adult* and tell you he doesn't feel ready for a baby. Then you can work on the real issue together as a couple. Maybe couple's counselling?



Of course, I could be wrong about this but just what it sounds like to me. I would confront him and ask him to be straight. Because to me it sounds like it could be one of two things and I'm going to be forward here; either he doesn't take your relationship as serious as you do or he doesn't want (more) children.

Kate CP - posted on 02/13/2012

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Wait, he's telling you to abort your pregnancy because he gets a rash at your house and he's afraid the baby will get a rash?



No, there's no truth to it. Some kids end up have eczema and some don't. You're SO is being a butt head. :P

Cynthia - posted on 02/13/2012

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he's probable sensitive at ur house for something as simple as what you clean with. but this is no reason to think of aborting. it is absolutely not true that the child will have any trouble because he does. that is if he is in fact breaking out and if it is actually only happening at your house. have you seen the out breaks? dont kill ur baby for any reason thats my opinion

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