Father of my child left

Stephanie - posted on 01/08/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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This is going to sound crazy because it's been so long but here we go..... 2.5 years ago (when my son was 6 weeks old) I found out his dad was seeing another girl through pretty much the whole of my pregnancy. I found messages on his phone. We were together 7 years, had a lovely relationship and planned to have a baby. I moved town to be nearer my family after I found out. He moved with my for a few months but couldn't handle the pressure and left just after Christmas. I was on my own. He has my son every other weekend. 10 months ago I met a wonderful person. He proposed in Italy shortly after we met and I thought.. Why not! We get on so well. Him and my son adore each other and everything seems to be going well. But I still find it hard dealing with him leaving me with a baby. It's so hard. Am I ever going to feel normal again? I am very independent, I started a new career, made new friends etc but I can't get over this :(

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Michelle - posted on 01/09/2016

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If your fiance truly loves you he will understand.
My husband does and he lets me have my moments when I need them.
All you can do is grow from the experience and not let anyone treat you like that again.

Stephanie - posted on 01/09/2016

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I guess my mums advice was right... You'll move on eventually but you'll never forget. It also makes me angry that I let it get to me! Because he obviously didn't care. I don't know if there will ever be an end to this hurt :( my fiancée is so supportive, kind, big hearted and loving. He gets me through everything but I want to be 100% for him too

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2016

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Fair enough.
Knowing a bit more about it, I understand. I am also from a divorced family and I took my marriage vows seriously. My ex slept with his 1st cousin while I was pregnant with our 1st child in our house! I know it's hard to get over.
I have been divorced for almost 11 years and I still get angry when I think about what he did to me.

Stephanie - posted on 01/09/2016

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I'm not in love with my ex. I'm in love with my new man. But when I found out my ex cheated on me it was so traumatic to me and all my family I still always think about it. It makes me angry that I have to hand my son over every other weekend at such a young age. I have absolutely no control over it I know but it's heartbreaking! I'm not finding it hard to get over my ex. I'm finding the situation hard. My parents split up many years ago becausey dad was the biggest womaniser. My Dad thinks my ex is awesome (they're very alike!) my dad sat me down a few days ago and told me I was with the wrong person and asked if I still think about my ex! I could have thrown him out the door!!! So hence why I'm getting advice away from family!

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2016

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So you are engaged to another man (not your baby's Father) and you are finding it hard to move on?
Do you love this new man or just think you that because you get along you should marry.
If you don't love this man then don't get married. It's not good for you or your son. You have only known him for 10 months and have obviously introduced him to your son. That makes it harder for you to make a rational decision as you will always think about how much your son likes him.

In regards to your ex, when you meet the right person, you won't be finding it so hard to let go of what he did. You will then thank him because you met the right person for you.
My ex cheated on me and we were married. I almost took him back because I didn't want to be alone. I have since met the most wonderful man and there is no way I regret what happened. It made me stronger and I won't put up with crap.

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