Father wont quite smoking for 8 mont old son

Katieoley - posted on 01/20/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I literally just got back from the doctors with my son and he told me my son is allergic to smoke.
he has been sick about a week horrible congestion and a barking cough.
I get home and tell my boyfriend his father , that he is allergic to s moke.

He seemed very worried and even cried. Next he said he was going to go out side to meet up with his uncle and smoke a cigarette. I told him that the doctor just said he was allergic and you are going to go smoke his response was yup I am. you expect me to quite right away, I said yes for you son I do. he replied with well we can bring that topic up Wednesdays with your therapist but I will not stop smoking. I said ok and turned to walk away and he said he will no longer smoke in the attic.
Now my question is am I going insane and think that he was completely wrong for not quitting for his son?

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Katieoley - posted on 01/20/2014

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Jodi, I thank you for you honesty. You were right, I was looking for an overnight change from him but smoking is an addiction, I do too smoke just as much as he does so how come its easier for me to quite for my son? either way I answered my own question we are both different people.

To answer you question regarding the therapy sessions, I only go to these sessions he has finally agreed to go with me. But I will most definitely take your advice/suggestions knowing that he has to quite in his own way.

Thank you again!

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2014

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Your boyfriend is right - he can't give up smoking just because you tell him to. It's not that simple. Sure, it may be for his son, but smoking is an addiction, and you can't expect overnight miracles. I'm not saying you are wrong for believing he should give up, but you need to allow him some time to get used to the idea rather than appearing to demand it.

However, having said that, if your child is allergic to smoke, then he does need to make some changes. If he wants to continue to smoke, he needs to change his clothes and wash thoroughly before he can come back into the house or go near your son.

Now, a question about the therapist....you both go to these therapy sessions? I agree that it is something you can both discuss in this therapy session and maybe discuss a plan where he can work his way towards giving up the smoking in a way that works for him.

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