Fathers girlfriend wanting to take my son.

Amanda - posted on 03/13/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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So I have been raising my son since he was born. His father cheated on me and left me when I was 2 months pregnant and was never there when he was born and then refused he was his when he was the one doing the cheating..He got his new girlfriend pregnant 2 months after I had my son so he now has 2 children that are less than a year apart. he never gave much interest in my son. a lot of people don't even know he has a son too. He posts pictures of his daughter almost every day and not one of his son. he only recently started taking him overnight at his house with his girlfriend and daughter..My son is 2 years old now. I give him all the freedom to as what days he wants him every month and he only picks one day a week..but now he is taking me to court for more days with his son..but he wants his girlfriend to watch him while hes working..will the courts allow that? I do not know or trust her and I dont want my son to be left alone with her especially when he can be home with me...his son is his responsibility not hers...please I need your help.

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Ev - posted on 03/14/2015

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I would say its time to get custody, visitation and child support totally set up and stop going through the mediation process since it does not see to be working.

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Amanda - posted on 03/14/2015

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I dont mind him having joint custody I want hunter to spend time w his dad...but I want him to be the one taking care of him on his time. NOT his girlfriend. If he can't spend the time with him then he can send him back home to me. Thats what we've been doing all along. I give him all the freedom to pick which days he wants him every month and he only picks 1 day a week.. and he only workspart time so it doesn't make sence to me that he now wants him every other weekend and Monday-wednesday but wants his girlfriend to take his responsibility...when I dont even know her and don't know whats going on with her.

Ev - posted on 03/14/2015

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Just be warned though that even though you go ask a lawyer things that does not mean his answers are going to favor you totally in court. Dad can ask for joint custody and dads are given it. As long as he is not found to be a danger to the child then he can have the same rights to custody, visitation, and child support same as yourself. You may be the one that has taken care of him since he was born but judges are seeing that the fathers can take just as good care of a child as the mother can. (I understand the child being the world to you because when my kids were 12 and 5 I let them go live with their father because I could not put them through court and custody issues all the time and it was better that way for their frame of mind.)

Amanda - posted on 03/14/2015

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Yeah. I just don't know how that all works..I have to go talk to a lawyer asap..I just know that he should be with his mother..I am home to him and have been all along.

Amanda - posted on 03/13/2015

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when he was a baby we went through mediation. He was to live with me and he gets to take him on days that we agree. I gave him all the freedom to pick which days he wants him every month and he only took him once a week. He is now wanting to take him monday-wednesday and every second weekend but he works most of that time he wants his girlfriend to watch him because he knows that will hurt me..Id rather him be in daycare when both of us are working because he loves it there and he learns a lot there. This isnt a custody battle through 3 people. its between the two parents and I dont see how a judge would let her take him alone if im not comfortable with it.

and we've already had a DNA test done for him because he denied him as his son when he was born.

Dove - posted on 03/13/2015

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He can ask for whatever he wants in court... and so can you. Look into what Raye mentions on that 'right of first refusal' thing. If the two of you live close enough together that your son can be w/ you at home vs. being w/ the girlfriend or in daycare even when it IS the father's visitation time and he has to work... that would certainly be good for your son.

You really can't predict what a judge will or will not decide. Get yourself a lawyer and talk to them about all of your concerns... and the lawyer will help you sort it all out to present to the judge what is best for your son.... and likely your ex's lawyer will do the same and it will be up to the judge to sort out.

Ev - posted on 03/13/2015

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Did you have a custody, visitation, and child support set up is my question. If not, then he can go and ask for even custody. Did he get put down on the birth certificate as the father? If not he would have to get a paternity test done.

Raye - posted on 03/13/2015

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He should not be granted visitation for times he won't be home. Let the judge know your concerns and come to an agreement for times when your ex can be there with the child. There's a thing called "right of first refusal" which means that, if he's not capable of watching the child during his visits, then he must contact you first to take him. Then, only if you refuse or can't be gotten in touch with would he be allowed to have someone else watch the child. If you have that written in as part of the visitation agreement, keep phone/text/e-mail logs of your correspondence in case he tries to lie about attempting to contact you first. The court can pull phone records, so don't you lie about it either.

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