Fathers rights

Fred - posted on 04/15/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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For all you Moms out there that keep your children from their Fathers perhaps you should join a father's rights group and see the other side. I have been in a 5 year custody battle to see my daughter in Germany where dogs have more rights than Fathers. I have moved to Germany to be with my kid - given up my career in NYC been thru 7 lawyers 3 judges 5 court appearances and only have 3 hours Tuesday and Saturday.

No over nights no vacations zero — now My daughter has been brainwashed that she can’t stay with me.
The world court ruled against Germany for human rights violation towards fathers in 2010--
Just this month Germany finally agreed they have to bring their laws into the right way.

What no one ever talks about about is this is run by the lawyers for money — the judges are in bed with the system..

Mothers are pawns in their money making scheme.. They use you to make their fortune — Is is sad because if Fathers got %50 at the start
They would be out of work very fast.

In Germany they are setting up the new law where every Father has to take every mother to court — The courts will be plugged up for years.

But please understand the Lawyers are buddies with the politicians and they are making sure they get their last EU’s before the system change and they will have to reinvent their business model.

With my ex I always says “ Just flip the rights . The visitaion.” Being German and believing in paper she would agree to this only if a judge would rule this way,

But her lawyer and the judge are buddies so never going to happen.

In closing I am a good father pay every month see her on the assigned days , bought a house with a big garden – I believed in the system and humanity.

The system has drained me financially and emotionally and has done my daughter no good.

My daughter and I are very close. We are defeated at every turn .

So try stepping into some Father’s shoes for a while. I hope posting this helps some child that misses her father.

Fred

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Diane - posted on 04/16/2013

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Fred, Would your wife's partner have a sit down with you? Could you write your ex a letter, offering to be more than generous behaviorally if the two of you, with a mediator, friend, pastor, anybody, could just sit for an hour and talk about the child? Could you explain that for whatever past deeds you are sorry, and only want to be a father to your child, and feel that that is important since you are the father, and don't want the child growing up thinking you've abandoned your responsibilities? That you are willing to do more than compromise at this point, and only feel it's important for the little one to know the other side of the family, roots, places etc.? It kind of seems like there's been alot of anger and perhaps even hate throughout this process, and if you could reach a point where that's removed, you might have a chance. Can you drum up the money for a psychologist, to evaluate you as a parent, get it in writing, take it to court, your attorney, whomever, and see if that helps. And find a different lawyer as well.

Fred - posted on 04/16/2013

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Thanks for writing-- I am at a loss what to do -- Funny I know Alec professionally from NYC
and well know his story and I am living his now point by point. I posted my thoughts in hopes just to help one family.

My ex refuses any therapy or mediation and now is a confirmed lesbian - so everything is impossible She is PHD doctor and German which beats Dipl Arch American in the German courts here. Again my my beaf is with the Lawyers because they don't want %50 because the fighting stops. Then they have no job. And no one talks about this to the degree it should be addressed.
And Like Alec's story this is the family summer home she never can see:

ww.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p167393#calendar-bar

Again thank you for replying.

Fred

Diane - posted on 04/16/2013

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Paternal alienation is a very real problem here. I'm not talking about abusive men who traumatize their children. We have mothers doing that as well. But when I think about how key it is for children, particularly male children, to have that paternal bond I really get to thinking. When those kids are grown, they aren't going to sing mom's praises for trashing their dads. They will be upset that they never had one, while their friends had dads perhaps coaching soccor teams, etc. If ever the term mediation came into play it does now. Adults need to put away their play toys of anger and resentment, mediate, go to family therapy, and help their children, and that doesn't mean mom's boyfriends, or dad's girlfriends. It means mom and dad, learning how to work together, so the kids have a fighting chance in life, especially with relationships. The actor Alec Baldwin comes to mind. Long years of seeing his child a couple of times a year, with the mom viciously taking out her vengeance on the child. She never knew how to contact her grandmothers. It got that nasty in court. How utterly and completely sad. As much as I hated my ex-, we see each other at our grandson's occasions, and speak cordially to one another.

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