fear is debilitating...... I need encouragement

Shaun - posted on 10/12/2014 ( 11 moms have responded )

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hi I am a young stud looking to expand me and my wife's family and I'm scared to death cause that means I have to have our new little ones and that is making my nerves go nuts

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Brenda - posted on 10/14/2014

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When i first read this, i thought to myself what i cocky man you are haha, that goes to show you can't judge a person right away! Sorry about that, and thank you for educating me and other moms what "stud" means to you, i think i fits very well! Anywho I respect your braveness, I myself am i first time mom, and young mom at that. Becoming a parent is super nerve wrecking! Shoot I'm still a bit fearful of a lot of things, and I personally see nothing wrong with being afraid, its not that I'm not "women" enough or that I'm a bad mom this is completely new to me and soon to you.. again i guess? anyways enough about me. I say go for it! yeahs its a frightening thing but hey, you'll get over it thats what being a parents about right? learning from yourself and your kid. I also agree with with Raye, take this experience as a brand new one, don't let you past haunt you..

Raye - posted on 10/13/2014

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Shaun,
Having children is a big step. If you've already gone through it, then you know some of what to expect. You should understand that your experiences this time around will be different than before. You are not your past, and you can use those bad experiences to make something good out of them by learning from them. Just knowing you don't want your kids to experience the same troubles that you did will help you. You are stronger than you know, and you and your partner should be able to lean on each other for support and strength. It will still be overwhelming at times, but if you just take one day at a time and not try to get too bogged down by all the stuff that may or may not happen. Think about all the joy that little one will bring you, and how much joy you can bring to the life of your little one. If you really want it, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Shaun - posted on 10/13/2014

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well I obviously misjudged the words I chose when I originally posted this I want more kids I'm just terrified of it. I have a twisted history and that is where most of my reservations of the idea cone from. I spent 12 years in and out of foster care and have already had one child although it was 11 years ago I was still a child myself hell I was only 13 and I'm scared of trying this again and just to be clear I am a woman!!!!!!!!

Shaun - posted on 10/13/2014

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Ok stud where I'm from is how masculine lesbians refer to themselves I am a 25 yr old woman hence why I have to have the child my fears run deep due to my history I didn't realize that the term stud would immediately make everyone think I was male

Shaun - posted on 10/13/2014

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not misguided ego I just didn't realize that term would be misunderstood I guess I should have said young gay woman who identifies with a more masculine personality

Guest - posted on 10/12/2014

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In some cultures the term "stud" just means healthy male in his mid to late 20's. In the US and England, which is where most of the women here are from, it means a young male anywhere from teen aged to early thirties. Usually very physically fit with very high self esteem--conceited--and who dates a lot of women. I'm assuming since you are married and considering starting a family, you're just referring to yourself as a healthy young man.

Anyway, talk to a family therapist with your wife and discuss what adding children to your family will entail. It is always best to be prepared for the way children change the relationship, and a lot of couples go into it thinking children can only make things better. So it's good that you are concerned, you just need to talk it out and develop plans for how you and your wife will adjust. Once you are prepared and have a plan to follow, you will feel less fear.

Michelle - posted on 10/12/2014

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Why say you're a young stud then?
This is a Mother's forum, not for "young studs".
If you aren't ready to have children then use birth control, simple.

Shaun - posted on 10/12/2014

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Being a stud has nothing to do with fear. Every stud is afraid of something and that goes for everyone. my fear is of a lot of things tied into the whole idea of having a child not just a particular thing it's all kinda overwhelming to even think about but I guess you don't particularly understand thanks anyway though

Michelle - posted on 10/12/2014

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If you're such a stud then get over your fears! I have no idea what you are scared about though.

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