fear of giving birth?

Kaitlyn - posted on 08/26/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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we are expecting our first baby, I am 6 months along:) and... I have really bad hips. well I have tossed and turned every night for almost 4 months worrying that one of my hips will dislocate while giving birth. that's why i'm wanting an epidural so I don't freak out and jerk and hurt baby as she's coming out. I was wondering if any other mommies to be are also worried about anything like this or if I am a horrid person for not having a natural birth? or if its understandable.

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Enna - posted on 08/27/2013

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I think having an epidural would keep it from hurting really bad if your hip dislocated. Yes, child birth is painful, but dislocating anything, especially a hip, is really painful too. I was afraid of my hips becoming dislocated while I was pregnant because the joints were so loose. I did end up dislocating both of my thumbs, seems silly, but that really hurts.
You are not a bad person for having an epidural. Lots of women get epidurals, and women are more likely with their first child. It doesn't make any difference in how good of a mom you are.
I was induced with both of my children. I would avoid it if you can, but sometimes they just need to do it, don't feel bad if they need to. With my first my water had broken, but she had no interest in coming (born the day after her due date.) My second was never going to come out. She was 10 days late. They induced because they thought my amniotic fluid was low.
I had an episiotomy with my first. It didn't hurt, and I healed from it quickly. It sounds a lot scarier than it is.
What my uncle (awesome dad, very successful guy) told me a couple weeks before I had my first that there are times in your life where people do drugs when they shouldn't, then it confuses people into thinking that they shouldn't have drugs when they really do need it. He said it was important to know when those times are.
Anyway, I think you need to talk to your doctor about your concerns. He/she should be able to help you feel better about the whole thing. You could also write up a birth plan and go over it with your doctor. That way everyone knoew ahead of time what your wishes are. The be prepared to throw them out the window when the time comes. :) Good Luck.

Denikka - posted on 08/27/2013

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I also have fairly bad hips, although I have luckily never dislocated them or anything. I have 3 children now and it honestly never even crossed my mind that I might dislocate a hip during labor.
During the entire time I have been in labor (all 3 times) I really didn't do much moving around. Completely relaxed in between contractions and then just tensed up during them. I'm not sure what you're intention is in what you might do that could dislocate your hip :P It's not an aerobics class :P

And as for an easy pregnancy leading to a difficult labor, that was completely not the case with me. I threw up ONCE during my entire pregnancy with my first and it's possible that was due to a stomach virus I had :P Not at all with my other two (except when I had a bad stomach flu with my second, but that doesn't count :P) SUPER easy pregnancies, all three of them.
And as for my labors, all of them were natural. My first, I had a shot of morphine and was done in just under 6 hours. My second, I had laughing gas and was done in just under 5 hours, and with my newest baby, I had absolutely nothing and was done in just under 4 hours (grand total of under 5 minutes/3 pushes :P). I had no stitches, barely minor tearing. No issues at all.
And just so you know, those times are not just counting active labor (fully dilated, etc) that is right from exactly the first contraction (or water breaking and first contraction with my first :P)

So easy pregnancy does not mean difficult labor :)


But, you need to do what you feel is best for you and baby. Definitely address your concerns with your doctor. The most important thing, no matter what choice you do end up making, is to make an INFORMED choice :)

Ami - posted on 08/27/2013

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I had an accident in high school (playing touch football of all things) that ended up cracking my right hip bone. It has never really completely healed and I have fallen on it a couple of times since then. When I got pregnant it didn't even come to my mind as being an issue until about the 4th month I think. When I was in so much pain I couldn't even walk.

I was using a doctor that was part of a group of doctors and they had a policy that you had to see a different doctor every time you came in so you where comfortable with all of them. So which ever one was on call when you when into labor you would know bla bla bla.

Anyway I was talking to this doctor who I had never met never seen and REALLY didn't like, about the pain I was in and the concern I had. All he did was put me on pain meds. I got increasingly worried as I got closer to my due date, so I called the last doctor who took x rays of my hip and had him send them to my OB.

My OB called me in and we discussed c-section options.

I am not advocating a c-section but if you are that concerned you need to let your doctor know and discuss options. If your doctor isn't an open easy to talk to person find a midwife, or an OB nurse. Also most hospitals have classes you can take that help you start to stretch out your pelvic bone and muscles I am sure you can even find things online with prenatal yoga and such. I had a friend that came over and helped me just incase my little one decided to come fast and furious, and it really helped with the pain. I still use the exercises to this day when I start to get sore.

Christine - posted on 08/27/2013

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Going into labor is a big deal, and it's natural to be scared. I'll be having my third soon, and I'm still nervous about it; every time is different, and my first 2 were so easy that I'm worried I'm in for a tough time to make up for it!

As for an epidural, I'm not quite sure how that would keep you from dislocating your hip. You should talk to your doctor about it. If you do have one, it does not make you a horrid person, and I'm not sure why anyone would think that. I had a FANTASTIC epidural for my second labor: the pain went away, but I could feel the contractions. I didn't even really know what contractions felt like before then; I was always actually just feeling the pain down in my pelvis, while the actual contractions are further up! And it took me 2 1/2 minutes/ 2 pushes to get my son out, and he was just fine and alert at birth, so it didn't have any negative effects on either of us. Everyone responds differently, though, so if you think you'd have a problem with it for some reason, talk to your doctor!

Kaitlyn - posted on 08/27/2013

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ohhhhh, yea i'm going to ask for that too. haha :) and I have to stay active I walk everywhere lol I have been walking since I found out 2-3 times a week, and to my appointments and everything. must be a sight to see 6 months pregnant waddling everywhere at this point lol xp but I keep hearing it will make labor easier, so I am all over it. haha

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Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2013

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I know what you mean. I had a similar experience with my hips. I have three children and gave birth to all three with no epidural because I have scoliosis. My last pregnancy was terrible because of hip and back pain. Nothing happened to my hips or the baby try not to worry about that you were meant to give birth and you and the baby will be fine!
Good luck and you are in my prayers!

User - posted on 08/29/2013

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I was scared to death of giving birth. When I got the epidural I hardly felt it. I was more afraid of the shot than the birth. I went numb and didn't feel any contractions. The nurses had to tell me to push because I couldn't feel anything and then they had to tell me to stop because Savannah was about to deliver and I had to wait for the doctor. The delivery was easy for me. I hope I eased some of your fears. I pray you have an easy birth with no problems. God bless you.

Keista - posted on 08/28/2013

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I have had an epidural with both of my pregnancies. at first I was unsure about the epidural but I had it done and it works very well. my kids were born just a couple minutes after having it done

Hannah - posted on 08/27/2013

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Perineal rub softens the skin that stretches when you are in labor. Also there are a lot of women that go through pregnancy with great ease and finish with equally easy labor. The key is to stay active, stretch, and have a healthy mind about labor. Healthy body, mind, and spirit make for happy mom and baby. :) Also yes talk to you OB-GYN that is what he is there for! It is very important you keep a close relationship with him, he knows what you are going through.

Kaitlyn - posted on 08/27/2013

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thank you all,
what is a perineal rub exactly?
and one of my old friends was induced, she kept calling me screaming... I am terrified of being induced now lol
also, I just recently sat daddy down and explained my fears to him, he said what ya'll have, "talk to the doctor", because it scares him too, but I figured I would ask moms that have been through it before walking into the doctor feeling like a raging lunatic. lol I think labor is going to be literal hell for me though, no morning sickness, I have only thrown up 5 times the entire pregnancy, 1-when I found out, 3-one day I had a horrid migraine that made me sick, and 1-when I was really upset one night. that's all. my hips I already feel them expanding and its not that bad, and my back hurts if I sit weird for to long. other then that I have no pregnant horror stories. just the fear of how it will end and Alessa will begin. but I am definantly going to talk to my doctor. again, thank you mommies:)

Gena - posted on 08/26/2013

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I agree with Hannah about the perineal rub.I had an episiotomy and that was terribly painfull! I didnt have any problems like you but i was also abit scared witch i guess is normal if its your first time.You dont know what its going to be like and i was worried that i didnt know how to push properbly.I had a natural birth but at the end they had to pull my son out with a machine (dont know what that machines called)its with vacume on the babys head.went fast because the cord was wrapped around his neck and they couldnt find his heart beat.He came out healthy.But it is soooo true,once the baby is out you forget all the pain immidiatly.And i did everything right:-) so dont worry to much the midwives and doctors will help you.

Hannah - posted on 08/26/2013

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No reason in fearing labor. It is going to happen, and it doesn't last too long. I do suggest using a perineal rub to keep yourself from tearing or getting an episiotomy. I had one and I'd rather die than go through the recovery for that again.

Also, epidural does not make that big of a difference. Two times I have given birth once with and once without. I preferred without. The epidural was frightening for me, I also went into full on labor 2 minutes after receiving my epidural so maybe that's why it did me no good! You won't be able to move your hips when you are in labor if you have epidural. Even without it your body goes into a sort of "Freeze and push mode, the pain is intense enough to where all you can think is "Dear Jesus get this baby out of me" you won't be jerking round at all.

Also, do everything you can to not induce. Petocin is what caused me to need an episiotomy. It causes your cervix to open too quickly, causing you to need to push before your body is really ready. Worst labor in the history of the world. My other pregnancy I went a little past due and into birth the natural way and it was nearly painless labor!

There are exercises for your hips as well a bit of light yoga is good for your labor:)
Just remember, labor doesn't last that long, and when that baby is born; you will forget everything that just happened. Good luck to you!

Brianna - posted on 08/26/2013

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im not going through that but i was still very scared to give birth its so different when its happening im sure no one can explane it but your so in the momment of having your child you dont think or hear anything else well thats how i was i say do what you feel is rignt and also ask about this all natural shot thats what i had but i would talk to your doc alot about it because this girl that lived next door to me in the middle of giving birth her babys head got smashed on her hip bone some how and the baby did not make it so really see what they can do! would hate to see anyone else have to go through that

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