Marie - posted on 09/26/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
It's taken me quite a while to come round to realising that I have a problem and to talk about this sort of thing on an Internet site, I just really need to let some of these feelings out to other mothers as I am becoming afraid of my aggression and feel I am failing as a mother, I even cry as I write this as I don't want to be like this. Please don't be too judgemental with any responses.
I am a mother of 2 little girls, my first was a fairly easy baby, had her spats like most children, but nothing I couldn't deal with. She is now 3, and a loving, affectionate child, how loves to play, cuddle and help and generally does as she is told.
I have recently had another baby who is now 7 months old and she is in a word an awful baby...I feel so bad for saying it like this, but I feel like I can't cope with her, she screams, crys and yells so loudly all of the time, she is a very needy, demanding baby and she actually makes me feel crazy and there is nothing I can do for her which makes her happy - I give her everything she needs plus more and its never enough, I don't know what i'm doing wrong to make her want to act like this, its not like I am an unexperienced mother, the screams really get to me as they are so shrill and high-pitched.
I can't do anything without her needing me there all the time...housework, going to the toilet or even getting ready (I look the worst I have in a while as she gives me no time to get ready).
I have in the past suffered with bad OCD, it was getting better, but since having her all the rituals have got worse, which makes me feel worse. I'm afraid of my own temper now as i'm finding it hard to cope and end up shouting at my baby and taking it out on my older daughter as she can understand me, I feel so awful after doing this, wondering if i'm going to end up hitting them one day as it comes close it it...and then I cry.
I have a partner who is at work all day and I have spoken to him about all this but he doesn't undrestand and says that she's just a baby and the stage will pass, I'm sure it will but at the moment I just need some advice on coping tips, does anyone else have needy children like this? Does anyone feel like this? I feel alone with this as everyone always seems so happy as a mother while I'm finding it hard.