Feel like my parents are turning my kids against me...

Miquella - posted on 07/24/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a 31 year old mother to two beautiful children (9 & 10). I have not been with their father for over 7 years and he has no contact with us what so ever. I was a single-mom struggling earning min. wage and living pay check to pay check in an old trailer in a small town. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and my children have established a relationship with him and him them as well. A brief history, when I met my BF we lived almost 2 hours away from each other. I was still being harassed/abused by my kids dad, so I decided to move to live with my BF after only 3-months. I decided I would let my kids stay with my parents until they were comfortable enough around my BF to live with him (he has no kids) so it allowed him time to get to know them and being around kids. During that first year, I got a good job paying twice what I was earning and my BF motivated me to start college since I was in a city now. After a year I started the battle, that I still fight today, to move my kids. Every school year my parents make up stories about my BF and I that make my kids not want to move, they started to see the stories were lies and my daughter moved after 3 years, my son stayed because they bought him a lot of toys (a horse, 4-wheeler, etc) to keep him there and happy. After only 6 months of her living with us, over x-mas break I went to pick her up and she threw a fit to come home :'( I didn't want to fight her and look like I was not giving her a choice so I let her move back, this was in 2009. Right before she moved back I graduated from college and was earning more money. I was living a life I never thought I'd have. I begun fighting my parents to help support me in making my kids feel that moving to live with their only biological parent and a step-parent that loved them as his own was a good thing. Well I got a lot of negative feed back and the manipulation started. They would tell my kids all kinds of new stories that my kids at the ages of (6 & 7) wouldn't understand. My parents began to exclude me from school functions, family pictures, vacations, and sometimes never answer the phone when I called. I would try to have a say in any decision's of my kids and they would get criticized and ignored. During this time, my BF and I bought a new house with plenty of room for my kids to have their own rooms, big yard and a great school district, and even a new job with the most money I'd ever earned. Now my kids are 9 & 10 and there is no reason they can't move home... I put my foot down as their parent and contacted their old school and told them that I was the custodial parent and every thing in the past legally on paper was lies. I completed the form that they will not be returning and sent a copy of my custody papers, they acknowledged with no problems/questions only apologies. I registered my kids in our school and took them to get a tour and they seemed excited, now summer camp was almost over and they went for a visit to my parents and when they were suppose to return they called that they didn't want to come home because they didn't like my BF (LIES!!) My mother has now mentally poisoned them about bulls*** regarding my BF via email not thinking I would save it and show it to him, he read it and was very hurt, because he loves my kids and does more for them than most step-fathers. He felt that they didn't appreciate all he has done for them and was crushed. I thought about her email and knew it was lies and bulls*** because the minute they get home from camp they run to him and hug him, cuddle in front of the TV at night and wake him up in the morning before we head out to camp just to say 'love you, bye' they even call him 'dad'. Now I have called to talk to my kids and explain to them that I miss them and I wish they'd come home and the only response I get is, "ok, well I gotta go now" or "btw I want to stay here for school, ok love you, bye mom"... I really miss my kids :'( I know they are safe, healthy and have a great time living in the country and think they get every thing they want, but my parents are clearly buying their love. Am I wrong or should I just not give my kids the choice, force them to move and cross my finger they don't resent me for it later. I have come a long way to make a great life for my kids, just for them to not be here, please HELP! (BTW I'd attach her latest email, but there are some bad words and it will make you cringe at how a mother can treat her only child)

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Did you ever give her legal custody/guardianship?

If not, do you have any proof that she obtained custody/guardianship in your absence?

If the answer to both is no, then tell her you're going to charge her with kidnapping and brainwashing. Get yourself an attorney, and file to have the children immediately removed from her care.

Make sure that you outline EXACT visitation schedules, and whether or not your mother is allowed to contact them at school, or anywhere without your presence. Make sure you have physical copies of any correspondence between the two. Any voice mail as well. You cannot tape conversations, but you can submit voicemail and email as evidence.

Be prepared to fight a vicious battle. One of my friends spent 5 years in and out of court to get her kids back in a similar situation.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Miquella,



Good luck. Stick to your guns. Your degree in the legal arena will help with your fight. I wish you the best in all of this. Keep us posted!

Miquella - posted on 07/24/2012

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Thank you Corrine! My head is pounding, but nearly as much as my heart.

Not sure if it's cause I miss my kiddos so much or that I have realize I lost any hope I had parents.

:- /

Corinne - posted on 07/24/2012

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I agree with Shawnn. Get a lawyer and get our kids back with you where they belong. How dare your parents undermine you and your role as parent? This kind of situation makes my blood boil. Good luck.

Miquella - posted on 07/24/2012

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First off, thank you for your response and taking the time to read my story (issue)!

No, I have never given my parents any sort of legal custody or guardianship... funny enough my first degree is in Paralegal Studies, I know they are are not smart enough to get any sort of legalization of my kids behind my back, I will sue them till they are living on the streets... They have offered me vehicles in the past in exchange for custody and I literally laughed at them.

I see where you are coming from regarding getting an attorney and fighting through the courts for my kids, but I know and have seen how that can have an affect on my kids and their relationship with the parents fighting for them. My kids have lived with my parents for so long that they can do no wrong, no matter if I can show it to them clear as day... but believe me I am at the end of my rope enough that I have come to the conclusion that I no longer have parents, just to creatures that created me. So my drive to fight for my kids again, (first with their father) now with my parents, how sad! So much for parents being supportive.

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