Feeling distant from my single and non mom friends! :-(

Catalina - posted on 04/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm 25 and fmwas the first in my group of 7 friends to get married and the first to have a baby!

When I got married our friendship stayed strong my husband loves my friends and they love him so it was all great! And then I got pregnant, and I know I changed a little, but they were all really excited for us and they are all my sons "fairy god mothers" is what we call them! My son is a year old now and I still see them fairly regularly and we talk a lot but I just feel like we are miles apart in life!

I want us to be as close as we used to be, it's just hard I am dealing with breast milk, naps, diapers and mommy and me classes while they are dating, drinking and worried about their hair color!

Is anyone else experiencing this?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/27/2012

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Well, the reality is, you ARE miles apart in life, and that is not a bad thing. When your friends eventually get married and have kids, it will be a whole NEW kind of friendship, but for now, they are not moms, nor are they married. There lives do not have the responsibilities that you have, and their biggest concerns are probably what they will wear at the club tonight. As much as I yearn for those days, my family is more important, and I would not trade them to go back to those days.

Often when we beccome mothers (not all mothers, but I sure as shit know I feel like this even now sometimes) we feel like we lose ourselfs and who we were. Well, a chunk of ourselves does disappear. But we are still the same people. We just don't put ourselves and our needs first any longer. We have a child and a husbands who's needs often come first. This often is the most gratifying thing, but when we see others being care free...it can make us yearn for some freedom.

My suggestion? Make sure you do get your baby free time with the girls. Enjoy yourself, and then go home and be the best mom that you can and see how wonderful being a momma is. And during that out time, avoid just talking about your baby, your concerns about your baby, and all that jazz. I am sure your girlfriends love your baby and you, but they do not understand why you are worried about green diapers, and how much your boobs are leaking. Good luck.

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