Feeling Like A Bad Parent. Is Any Of This Normal?

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

I Feel Like A Bad Parent. . .Im 18 Years Old And Recently Had A Baby. . .He's About Six Weeks Old And I LOVE Him To Death. . .My BIGGEST Fear Is That I Dont Want To Turn Out Like My Mother (I Was Abused As A Child) . . I Fear Everyday That Im Going To Be Like Her Or Im Going To Hurt My Son Just Like How She Has Hurted Me. . For Example: I Understand That When My Son Cries Either He's Sleepy Or Hungry. . I Deal With It And Say "This Is Just Normal Baby Behavior" But At Night Time I Get Frustrated And Overwhelmed. . I Either Snap At Him Or Pick Him Up Roughly. . .I Hate Doing It And Later On I Feel Bad About It Because I Know He Doesnt Know Any Better. . He's Just A Baby And I CANT Continue To Do This. . I Want To Be A Great Mother. NOT A Abusive Or Non-Loving Mom. I REALLY Need Some Advice Or Help On What To Do :(. . I Haven't Discussed Any Of This With Anyone. . I Would Really Appreciated The Feed Back. I Just Need To Know Is Any Of This Normal. . .PLEASE REPLY :'(

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Michelle - posted on 07/21/2012

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It is normal in a way but maybe you should look into going to some parenting classes. They can help and show you different ways of dealing with all the things these little darlings throw at us.



ETA: I should have said the feelings are normal. Getting an interrupted sleep will make anyone cranky but we need to learn how to control our anger and frustration.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/21/2012

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Maybe singing him a song will sooth you both, look into his eyes when you pick him up and see how much he loves and needs his momma. He is so fragile, and his whole world revolves around you, and yours should revolve around him. He doesn't know he just woke you up, he just knows he woke up and is upset and can only cry for his momma.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/21/2012

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Ok hun, you need some help here. You CANNOT pick a 6 week old up roughly, you could injure his neck, or cause shaken baby syndrome. If you cannot handle the crying, you need to stop before you pick him up. Walk away to an area you cannot hear him for a moment to collect yourself and not be so angry, then go attend to your son.

If you want to change your ways, I highly recommend a parenting class. Talk to someone about this. YOU can stop the abuse cycle, but you have to work at it. You are young, and having a baby is really tough. He is just a baby. He cries when he needs something, not to be mean and just wake you up. He does not deserve to be handled roughly. You can be a great mother, you just needs some help on your end. Getting frustrated, and overwhelmed surely is a normal thing for a parent. Lack of sleep is a great contributor, but it is how you handle yourself in these difficult times that shows what a great mom you can be.

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