Feeling Neglected by Husband

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

Iv'e been feeling very neglected and unhappy with my husband for the past year. He never wants to spend time with me or do anything outside of our home with me or our two kids. He spends a lot of time with the neighbors drinking and hanging out every chance he gets. I'm a stay at home mom who doesn't really have any friends. He works all day and when he gets home he talks to me for a while but then it's out the door going over to so and so's house to see what they're doing. While I stay inside cooking dinner. then has the audacity to complain about the food. My other issue is that if he's not over at the neighbors house, then he plays a game and texts on his phone all night ignoring me. It's to the point where the house would burn down and he wouldn't know it. If I say something to him about it he gets really mad. I've caught him emailing a woman he met online with this game he plays and have talked to him about it but he continues to play it. It's like he has no respect for my feelings what so ever. Another problem I'm having to try to look past and get over is the fact that he took a female employee on a business trip first without telling me and secondly continued to lie when i found out they had went to see a show and went to dinners together. The reason I didn't go was because he told me it wouldn't be fun this time around because there would be no time for anything. I don't have anyone to talk to and am trying to have a positive outlook for my kids but I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know why he is treating me so bad. He says I don't like to be social and i like to just sit around in the house. That's completely untrue. I would give anything to be out having a good time but someone has to cook dinner and bathe the kids. Yes, he is a narcissistic ass and who ever reads this will think why stay with him? Well, I don't have much options other than take my kids and be a single mom and work at a job with little pay. I'm wanting to know what other peoples opinions would be on the situation and what i could do to change my circumstances.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/16/2014

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I'm sorry, Amanda. That sucks to deal with, but were I in your shoes, I'd have not stayed after he took someone else on a 'business' trip...and then got pissed at me about asking.

That is NOT how you keep a strong relationship. You have my thoughts and prayers. You will be able to be strong and do what you need to because, well, you're a MOM. And we have to be strong. Get yourself into counseling, and determine what YOUR best course will be from here.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/16/2014

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No, he's exhibiting signs of infidelity, and actually, mental abuse.

He doesn't contribute to household duties, he's gaming constantly, or out with friends while you stay at home, he's online gaming and communicating with other women, and taking women on 'business' trips without telling you.

He doesn't see a problem with any of this, and gets upset when you bring it up, insisting that it's all in your mind, and that you are overreacting.

Classic signs of a controlling, abusive personality. You get yourself into counseling. And prepare yourself. You may very well need to remove yourself from the relationship.

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[deleted account]

I also forgot to mention that he now has a lock on his phone that requires a code so I can't get in there to see stuff even if i wanted too. i'm too scared to ask him for the password because it will probably start a fight and i totally don't like confrontation. He said there's a code so the kids won't get on his phone and mess stuff up. I'm to the point that I want to take his phone and smash it. I'm not sure if he's cheating or just tired of me. I told him what my plan was for easter coming up and he said he just assumed we would go over to the neighbors? I'm like you know you do have a family you could spend the holiday with. He's just acting weird.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/16/2014

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I know it wasn't directed at me, but what would I think if I was in your situation? That he is cheating, lying, and an all around asshole. Being a single mother is not a bad option if you are unhappy. Just make sure you file for child support, and alimony.

[deleted account]

He doesn't believe in counseling. He says it's bs. What would you think if you were in this position? do you think i'm overreacting? I just can't understand the sudden change of disinterest in me.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/16/2014

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Start with family counseling. If he won't meet you in the middle, you may have to go the single parent route, with visitation and support set in court.

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