Feeling Overwhelmed

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

How do you manage 3 boys - 20, 15, & 11 - work full-time, and take care of a household (outside, inside, bills, etc., without feeling completely overwhelmed and losing your patience big time with everything. It is really affecting my health (blood pressure is high, etc.) and I am constantly exhausted. They do help from time to time, but I continually have to ask them.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/06/2016




Apparently this one didn't like blunt truth either...LOL

My god, my kids started doing their own laundry about 12! And cleaning after them? Forget it! They were responsible for their own crap!


View replies by

Michelle - posted on 10/07/2016




My 15yo boy and 12.5yo boy have been doing their own laundry for about 4 years!
Why do Mother's do everything for their children and then complain when as adults their children still expect them to do everything?
Seriously, you aren't doing your children any favours by doing everything for them while they are growing up. You need to teach them to fend for themselves and be able to live on their own.

Dove - posted on 10/06/2016




No kidding Shawnn. Considering my health situation the girls have been doing ALL the laundry (including mine and the boys) w/ rare exception since they were 10. Granted, all my kids are slobs, but I don't care so much about that cuz I don't take care of their stuff anyway. lol

Dove - posted on 10/06/2016




They are all more than old enough to take responsibility for all of the household chores (the 11 year old can be supervised by the other two if he's still learning), so stop doing anything for them unless they help out. The 20 year old needs to have a job to contribute to the household finances. You are legally obligated to provide him with... nothing. You do need to provide food, shelter, and clothing for the other two, but you do not need to make their food or do their laundry or... well, anything unless they are willing to do their share w/out being nagged.

Sit down w/ them and lay down the law. Let them know what must be done in the house before you will make their dinner or provide transportation anywhere (other than school) and that they will lose any privileges (like electronic devices) until the chores are completed. And then stick to it. If they haven't done what needs to be done by the time you get home from work (if that is a reasonable time... I don't know any of your schedules) you just go and make yourself a nice, simple dinner and take care of yourself. Do what YOU need to do for you and ignore them. Even if they don't know how to cook (they all should be able to do simple things by now) they can make a sandwich or a bowl of cereal if they get hungry.

Hang in there! You can do this.

Ev - posted on 10/06/2016




Well, the 20 year old is an adult. Stop doing his laundry and stuff and have him start making rent payments to you. The other two are old enough to do chores. YOU can withhold certain privileges until they get them done.

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