Feeling really lonely.

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

So, i'm a stay at home mom... (first time mommy) i'm 20 years old. ever since i got pregnant i lost all of my friends from school. so i have no one to talk to out of my family. and i feel really down and lonely all the time and i would like to know how to feel better about the situation. I also don't really get along with the other mothers in my family, which are my sisters in laws, for... i have no idea why.. since they hate me. anyways what could help me feel better?


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[deleted account]

Hi Jena - I don't know much about Utah but it really doesn't like such a dangerous place. When you say you're not allowed to go alone on the bus, who is telling you that?

You're an adult and a mother now - you need to weigh up the risks involved with any activity, compared to the benefits.

Oh - another thought - would you be interested in signing up for courses at a college/university? They often have creches for babies, and it's something that would defintely get you out of the house and meeting people, and possibly get you some skills that you could use when your kids are older and you want to get a job. Maybe a relative could drive you there?

[deleted account]


my neighborhood isn't bad, but it's not the best i live in Utah and where i live isn't the best to be out by yourself. and it's kinda hard when no one in my house hold thinks it's a good thing to go out walking alone. and there are no parks close to where i live which is lame... and i don't have a car to go anywhere. and the same thing about a bus I'm not allowed to go alone.

I'm not sure if there is any of mothers groups here in Utah , i have never heard of any. but i would love to go to one sounds great. I feel kinda "trapped" in my house with a young baby. but yes i know how other women are in the same situation. my mom said she was just like that when she had her children... she called it "Mickey Mouse Brain" Lol because she had no one around but her kids.

[deleted account]

Actually, here in Australia we have "mothers groups" which are set up by the local health service. You are put together in a group with all the mums who have babies born in the same 2 month period as yours and who live in your suburb. This has been a saviour for a lot of mums I know - even though you have been randomly put together with strangers, it usually works out well.

If it wasn't being organised by anybody else, I would try to do it myself. Remember that there are a whole lot of people just like you all trapped in their homes getting lonely too and would love to be invited out to do something. Find places where local mums congregate and march up to them and ask them what they're doing to stay sane! Or even put up a note saying "new mum with a 4 month old looking for similar for coffee and chat".

[deleted account]

Arrk Jena sorry to hear about all the cleaning! That would kill me too!

I remember having a similar 4 month old to yours including the wanting to be held thing, and I felt very lonely and bored at home. I used to go for incredibly long walks with the pram. Is your neighbourhood the sort of place you could do that? Or how about catching the bus/train somewhere for an excursion? Or go to nearest public library or park and strike up conversations with other mums with bubs. Honestly I used to do this all the time and sometimes it's embarassing but sometimes it's really rewarding - but you have to take the risk. And getting out of the house at least once a day was my life blood.

If you can make some local friends now it will hold you in good stead for many years as the kids grow up together and you move into the next phases of motherhood with the other mums.

[deleted account]

Michelle, Thanks for the advice. i think i will look into that.

Jakki, well lately i decided to try and do some scrapbooking but with my baby only four months old who wants to be held constantly and wants to play she gets so bored it's hard to get a project done. and a part time job wont work i still exclusively breastfeed, and for my situation it's more beneficial for me to stay home with her. and one of the main things are i don't have any transportation, and my hubby doesn't leave me the car seat so i sit home all day and clean.

[deleted account]

What would you like to do?

Would you like to take up some new interests/hobbies eg doing creative stuff, social or sporty things?

meet other mums and just hang out at each others' place with your babies?

do exercise together with other mums?

do some study? get a part time job?

start up an online business?

There are a million things you could do to stop feeling bored and lonely... so make a list of your ideal life, and take the steps you need to make it happen.

Michelle - posted on 01/23/2012




Try and find a playgroup in your area or even see what activities your local library have.

Playgroups are a great way to meet other Mum's with kids the same age as your little one.

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