Feelinga bit perturbed.....

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

I'm feeling some kind of way. My oldest son, whose 28, has an excuse whenever I ask him to come over for dinner etc. Recently I found out that he's been spending a lot of time at his father and step moms. I'm not jealous that alarmed that he wasn't honest with me. I want my son to have a great relationship with his father, however I'm feeling some kind of way because when his father and I divorced his father refused to pay child support etc. but now he gets all of his time? Confused!

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Michelle - posted on 04/26/2016

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Child support would have stopped 10 years ago, don't hold on to the grudge you have for not getting any. You can't change the past.
Maybe your son knows how you feel about his Father and that's why he hasn't told you that he's spending time with him.
Let him know that you would like him to be honest with you and allow him to spend time with his Father.

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[deleted account]

Jodi, before you start to judge me, please make sure you have YOU together! Have a great day!

[deleted account]

Shawn, you gave NO CLUE of everything that has transpired so YOU CAN NOT JUDGE ME! I'm sure you have enough in your life that you need to work on!

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2016

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Seriously? Your kid is 28 years old and you are still hung up on the child support. Let it go! And I say this as a woman who raised her now adult son and received very little from his father. So I've been there. And NEVER have I EVER been upset over my son's relationship with his dad. It isn't, and never has been, about me. It's about my son. My son loves his dad. My son has a great relationship with his dad. Always has. I've never interfered, and I never would. He now gets in his car and heads off to his dad's whenever he chooses. Big deal.

I'll put money on it that your son didn't tell you because he knew you'd be upset over it. Because over the years, you have made it very clear to him you are the better parent and you are pissed off at his father.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/26/2016

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REally? You "aren't jealous", and you "want him to have a great relationship with his father"...and you're upset that he's spending time with his father.

You don't seem to understand that just because support wasn't secured in the divorce settlement does not mean that the man isn't still the father, and still has every friggin right in the world to have a relationship. I have a huge feeling that you've made such a big deal about his dad not "paying" for him (way to treat your kid like a pawn, btw) that now, when he's an ADULT and gets to choose his life steps, he's choosing NOT to share his personal details with you for this very reason.

How much QUALITY time did you allow the boy to spend with his father growing up??? Sounds like probably not much.

Mary - posted on 04/26/2016

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Hey Teresa,
I can understand you feeling that way. I would feel the same. Your best bet, since he is a completely grown adult at 28 is to talk to him and be straight forward about how you feel. Don't feel bad about it and don't dismiss it. Your entitled to your feelings.

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