Feels that my husband doesn't care

Nikita - posted on 02/16/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My second baby passed away at 25days old in nov of 2011. I had both my children to my partner of 3years and our relationship ended not long after the passing of our second son due to him cheating. I started seeing a guy (my husband) in March 2012 we got married on the 14th of jan 2014. I really want another baby as my first son will be 5 this year. I honestly think that it's a big age gap n I don't want it to get any bigger! My husband has agreed that we can have another child but the problem is that he doesn't seem 2 understand that it's really important 2 me! He just went back to his country for his friends wedding n he knows very well that I want to be pregnant by the end of the year but he has just now cut out a whole month of me being able 2 get pregnant and not 2 mention he will be going back again in May for another month as his father is celebrating his retirement... So I feel like I'm second best n that Im not his priority :( I thought when u get married that ur wife/husband comes first or am I wrong?

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[momoftwo] - posted on 02/16/2014

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I don't think you are asking too much at all, he wanted a wife and family. I would stand my ground and more than likely give him shit for always wanting to just go out and hang out with friends rather than spend time at home.

It sounds bad the way I worded it... But what I mean is he can have friend time but should also balance it out with family/spousal time with you. He's your husband now, he needs to meet you halfway in the marriage.

Nikita - posted on 02/16/2014

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I have talked to him about this time and time again. I have asked him if he is sure about having a baby and he hasn't changed his mind about it.
I just feel like I am second best and that every1 is put in front of me.
He always tells me to understand his situation and then I look at his situation but his situation doesn't make sense to me! How can his friend be more important than me? He expects me to do everything that he wants and for me to put him first in everything but he won't put me first in anything...
I don't understand how I'm always the one that has to come last. I feel alone most of the time even when he is here with me.
Am I asking to much of him? Should I stand my ground and make boundaries?
What can I do?

[momoftwo] - posted on 02/16/2014

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You aren't wrong at all but maybe you should sit him down and have a serious heart-to-heart talk. See if he is fully ready to have a baby now and if so then thats great! Personally a 5 year age gap would be my limit too lol.
Seriously though you need to tell him how you feel. Communication is a number 1 in relationships married or not.
Sorry for your loss as well. *hugs*

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