Fiancé

Susan - posted on 03/25/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, we have been engaged 2.5 years, and have a 20months and 6months. The problem is he wants to have sex every day but most of time I am too tired from nursing and looking after our young ones, he has always had a higher sex drive but it was never an issue before the second child as I could keep up. Sex is a daily ritual for him so we either have or he will go to the bathroom and have daddy time(he likes to call it). The reason why I am asking your opinions is because he recently used this as an excuse to go on tinder and suggested that we have an open relationship He says he doesn't what leave me and the kids. Don't know what do or how to feel, I love him and don't want to loose him but I can't help but feel betrayed.

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Sarah - posted on 03/26/2016

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Sacrifice - a word not often heard.
But essential in a healthy relationships.
A man who does not sacrifice for those he loves, is not loving.
Michelle is right, a man doing housework for you is sexy.

Michelle - posted on 03/26/2016

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I agree with Sarah, a long term relationship isn't just about sex, it's about being a partner for each other. That means helping each other with the day to day running of the house, supporting each other in looking after the children and actually listening to your partner.
Have you even spoken to him about how exhausted you are?
I would be telling him that if he wants an open relationship then he can find someone else set up home with. My ex tried to rape me a few times as I was too exhausted for sex and he was horny. A relationship needs have give and take and open communication. Let him know that if he helps out more with the kids and other things then you would probably be more in the mood. Maybe even tell him that seeing a man do housework is sexy.

Susan - posted on 03/26/2016

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sold men's group! Never heard of it but it sounds interesting . Google not coming up with much but will look into it.

Susan - posted on 03/26/2016

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Thank you Sarah, I needed to hear this because up until now I have blaming myself for the situation when I should be also looking at what he should also be doing to make the relationship happy I.e be patient and considerate at these very challenging times with two kids under 2.

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2016

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Love is about what you do, not how you feel.

The way you describe it.
And the fact you are engaged, but not married, looks like he is using you for his pleasure and not loving you. He needs to 'man up' and accept the responsibilities of his life and actions and see the situation you are in and help you. He could do with being in a sold men's group, where the men hold each other accountable for their behaviour and to help support their families.
How to do that?
That depends on what is in your neighbourhood.
"Open relationship", absolutely not!

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