fiance finds out that he is not the biological father from a prior relationship

Sherry - posted on 04/18/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I've been involved with a guy for 1yr and 8 months. 1 month into the relationship he was getting alot of calls from his ex. She would call between 6am-12am. It was a pain. Anyhow when his son came from Jamaica I noticed he did not look anything like him. The harassing calls and the multitude of calls from his ex made me dispise the ex. The ex had trained her son who was four to be hostile towards and trained him in a negative manner towards me. After spending time with him I got to like him but he looked so much like her that I couldn't get pass the distaste I had for her. Anyways 7 months ago my fiance did a DNA test and it confirmed my belief and his mother's belief that the child was not his. He refused to tell anyone and when I confided in his best friend's girlfriend she told her boyfriend and he inturn told my fiance. He was not happy, he said he could no longer trust me. He still communicates with the child and the mother. She calls him 6 times a day. What I really want to know is why would a guy who should be happy that he no longer has ties to a woman who obviously has serious mental issue still keep the communication going even though he saids he doesn't want to be father to a child that is not his and he hasn't even told any of his family or friends.


Jodi - posted on 04/18/2014




Why would he still want to have ongoing communication with the ex? Because he has developed an emotional connection with the child!! His child or not, he was led to believe the child was his for 4 years. You can't just suddenly switch that off. This boy was a child to him. So what if there isn't a biological connection - people adopt babies all the time and love them as their own. That's what has happened here.

He can't trust you because he asked you not to tell anyone. You breached that trust. Simple. I'd be upset at you too.

Sorry, but just because you don't like the ex doesn't mean you should take it out on an innocent child, which is exactly what you are doing by asking your partner not to have contact with the child - how do you think the child would feel?

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