Fiance is jealous of his daughter..

Dulce - posted on 04/19/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Constantly at odds my fiance and 2 1/2 year old daughter are always at it. I feel likr I have to take sides all the time. She is a little brat but I understand she is 2 and sometimes I just get sick of having to be getting her in trouble or wth might as well give herba donut even if she doesnt really deserve one shes a baby. But he is always cimplaining about her and is super strict. Today he got mad because she went to lay next to me in our bed and started saying that shes so much more important than him and that since she was on the bed hed have to go to the couch and why do I treat her nice if shes such a brat all the time. I told him it was a shame he thought that way and he just left.. idk what to think.

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Jodi - posted on 04/19/2014

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It depends how long ago "earlier" was. You are the one who said she didn't deserve it, so I assumed she didn't deserve it. In which case, don't give it to her. But if her poor behaviour was hours ago and she has already had consequences for the poor behaviour at the time, then that is different.

I think you and your partner need to sit down and discuss these issues. Clearly you are not on the same page with regard to discipline and issues in relation to your daughter. It won't get any easier. You need to resolve them as a couple and work as a team. Believe me, she will pick up on this eventually and she WILL use it if you can't be a team.

Michelle - posted on 04/19/2014

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If she has been naughty you punish her. You don't give treats because that just encourages the naughty behaviour. A 2yo doesn't need doughnuts, a piece of fruit is a suitable snack.
I would be worried about your boyfriends attitude though. Like Jodi said, he sounds like a spoiled brat. He's and adult and a Father and needs to behave like one. If I were you I would be seriously looking at your relationship with him and seeing if you really want to be with him.
He at least needs to do some parenting classes.

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2014

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Uh, no, you shouldn't be giving her a donut even if she doesn't deserve one. She might only be a baby, but believe me, she knows how to manipulate you.

However, having said that, your boyfriend sounds like a spoiled brat - sulking over these things won't help. He needs to become part of the solution not part of the problem. Is this his child?

And with the bed thing, was it bed time? Maybe he's tired of sleeping on the couch because your daughter won't sleep in her bed? Just a thought?

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Jodi - posted on 04/19/2014

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If your daughter is "always" doing something she shouldn't, then you need to be more consistent in your discipline. She should be able to do some things right at this age.

Dulce - posted on 04/19/2014

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We dont get that alot since we live far from family and he works overnight 12 hour shifts and i work during the day so we hardly have time and when we do its all 3 of us. I know it cant be like on tv but I always pictured being able to lay down together go eat or go to the park and just have a good time. Instead its like a battlefield. My daughter is always doing sonething she shouldnt and he loses it quick. I hope its sonething that will pass when shes older . Thank you for the replies!

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2014

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No, it's not normal. He has to grow up and realise she is just a child, and it takes time. love, kindness and consistency for her to learn right from wrong. He is acting like a spoiled child.

Having said that, however, do you and your boyfriend ever have a night out on your own? Do you spend time just you and him, having a date night, or quality time together? Maybe he is missing that?

Dulce - posted on 04/19/2014

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Weve talked about it alot and we come to agreements but then stuff like this happens. I just feel like shes always in trouble and it gets tiring because as a parent I just want to cut her a break sometimes. Its stressful to always be on her for everything she does. She gets in trouble and then does it again by the end of the day my fiance is snappy and in a bad mood. Or well go out and I just want to go home cause she did sonething wrong and hes just nagging. Its like this all day every day... is it normal?

Dulce - posted on 04/19/2014

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Not bed time just us laying on the bed relaxing and she is his yes. And should I nit give her a treat just cause she did something wrong earlier? I feel like shes never going to get anything then because throughout the day she acts up or does things she shouldnt...

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