Fiances children being spys for their mom

Susan - posted on 09/14/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My fiance children are 14 and 16 when they come to visit they act like spys ( i know that sounds bad) for their mom, anything I say, do, buy goes right back to their mom. Is very hard to relax knowing every I do is being judge, I dont feel right in my own home when they are there. They also lie for their mom. They lied about her pregnancy (shes unmarried) until she was in the hospital having the baby! What do you do?

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Jodi - posted on 09/14/2012

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Why do you care what their mother thinks? Let them spy. If you are happy, you really shouldn't care. Once they and their mother realise you really don't care, they will probably stop doing it.

Lacye - posted on 09/14/2012

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That's one thing you need to stop doing. Do not buy them any more than you would your own children. It's not fair to you or your kids if you do more for the steps. If they start in with the "You don't do anything for us", remind them that their father pays child support, you do extra things for them while they are at your house, and you love them like you love your own kids. That is more than enough to do for them. Especially if that is the way they act about the whole thing.

Susan - posted on 09/14/2012

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I know I need to , its just really hard, I bought a bigger house to accomediate them, I do anything for them even buying them things before my own children because If I dont then Ill hear "we dont do anything for them" even though he pays child support. I just hate feeling like I dont wanna go home when they are there....

Lacye - posted on 09/14/2012

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Get used to it. Not trying to sound mean or anything but this is the life of a stepmother. Of course they are going to lie for her and spy for her. They are more loyal to her than you. Just try to not let it bother you too much. It will of course but there's not much you can do about it.

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