Fighting for custody, and telling my son the truth

Summer - posted on 04/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a 33 year old mother of three. i have a 14 yr. old boy, a 13 yo old girl, and 11 year old boy.
I met my ex when I 18 years old and 6 months pregnate with my first son (the real father was not in the picture, he asked me to have an abortion, I couldnt bring myself to do it, and never spoke to him again) so my ex who was 27 years old at the time, swept me off my feet ,making empty promises, and said he would be there for me and my son, and I let him sign the birth certificate. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!
During the 7 years while living with him in Texas , we had a son,and a daughter together. We never married, but lived together. While living with him, he was mentally, sexually, and physically abused me. I am currently seeing a therapist who describes my ex as a sociopath. It would be too much to explain all the abuse. He is currently abusive to my kids. An example, he still pulls down my 14 yo son, and my 13 yo daughters underware down to spank them with the belt. I have reported the abuse to DHS, and they did nothing.
short summary, 7 and half yr.s went by, I finally got the courage to leave my ex, fled to oreon where my parents lived. Got a restraining order that gave me emergency temp. custody. Unfortinatly, not for long, as he went and filed for custody, and won with Texas having jursdiction over the case. The children had to be returned to my ex. In my wildest dreams, I never thought that he would win.
Curently, In still live in Oregon, he moved to seatle, wa. two years ago, I see them alot more often . I am curently happily married, buying a house. He lives in a messy apt. and treats, and talks to them horribly. We can deffinetly give them a happy home, and lots of love. The children want to come live with me, I am sving for an attourney to go back to court.
One of my biggest issue is my oldest son doesnt even know that my ex is not his father. I desperately want to tell him. I feel it is only right for him to know. My ex would nver want him to know. I dont knkow when the right time is to tell him? this is tearing me up that he has to live with that man who is not his father, my son is so unhappy. This is breaking my heart.
Can anyone please give me some advice??


Dove - posted on 04/18/2013




Your children should be old enough to testify in court where they want to live and what is going on in that house. Your son does need to know the truth about who is biological father is and isn't, but since I believe he should have been raised with the truth... I'm not sure exactly when or how would be the best time to tell him.

I believe there is a Legal Aid Society in all 50 states (I could be wrong though) that can give you good legal advice and/or at least point you in the right direction here. Have you made any calls?

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