Fighting for Full Custody, Father Not Involved

Juana - posted on 08/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is about to be 4 years old this December and has not heard from his father since April of last year (2012). The last time I spoke to his father he said he was going to make an appointment for a DNA test in order to get the court paperwork started...I never heard from him again. He was VERY abusive while we were together and I let him see our son for about a year after I left him without making him pay child support. He hasn't done much (or nothing at all) for his son since he was born besides buy a box of diapers. I stopped letting him see our son without court documents after he gave me a hard time for telling him he couldn't even give his son $3 to buy a gallon of milk. He never had our son when I let him take him for the weekend, our son was always at his mother's house. At one point he told me our son had to stay at his mother's house because he couldn't afford a mop and his bathroom was flooding his new apartment. I've seen pictures of him recently on Facebook where he's out clubbing, fishing, and enjoying his life, which I am fine with but if he's not gonna put in his part I want to fight for full custody and change my son's last name to mine. My son's father never signed his birth certificate but he has his paternal grandmother's maiden name (my son's father's last name was his stepdad's and he was supposed to change it to his mother's maiden name which is why we decided to just go with that last name). How can I do this in Texas without having to contact my son's father?? Where do I start? How much does all this usually cost??

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/22/2013

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That's where the support and visitation orders come in, Juana. At least you're doing it within the statute of limitations for the paternity question...which will be helpful to both of you.

Best of luck, my dear!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/22/2013

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You can't do it without contacting your ex, nor should you.

Get an attorney, go through the courts, get support and visitation court ordered, and adhere to said orders.

You cannot deny your son the right to know his father just because you don't like the guy. Yep, he sounds like a loser to me, too, but the reality of the fact is you created a child with another human being, and it is not YOUR right to keep that child from knowing both of his biological parents.

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Juana - posted on 08/22/2013

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Yeah, I need to just suck it up and pay up for a lawyer. I wouldn't mind his father being around at all, it just makes me angry that he hasn't even tried. I can't go a couple hours without wondering what my son is doing and for him to go this long is unbelievable! I was just hoping there was some loopholes since he didn't sign the birth certificate because he "wasn't sure" if he was the father.

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