Filing for separation/divorce before or after the Holidays.

User - posted on 12/18/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )




It's pretty obvious my husband and I are not going to make it.... we have had several conversations about it. I have a 24 month old who wont know the difference but I want opinions. Should I go ahead and file for divorce now or should I wait until after Christmas and stomach the holidays with the in laws and my family knowing what the truth of the matter is after the holidays. There isnt any chance of working it out...but it will be a huge blow the our family and we are sensitive to them.


Laura - posted on 12/19/2010




There isn't a right or wrong on this decision, it is entirely up to what makes you and your husband most comfortable. As you pointed out, your child won't remember this Christmas one way or the other. Is this a mutual separation? Is this a situation where you could begin the paperwork yet remain amicable enough to move through the holidays together? While it is very thoughtful of you to be sensitive to your families' feelings, they will pick up on the fact that something isn't right between you and your husband. Tension between you two as you mask the truth will not help anyone have a good time when with family. Perhaps you can put off the actual filing and paperwork until after the holidays, but consider at least informing family that you and your husband will be proceeding with a divorce. While it isn't the most cheerful subject to be dealing with at this time of the year, it is at least honest and open. At least that is another option to think about. Hope this helps a bit and good luck!


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User - posted on 12/19/2010




I think we are waiting until after the holidays to officially do the paperwork. But we will be informing everyone of our decision when we are there.Its mutual and we will be able to handle this maturely. Thank you everyone.

Louise - posted on 12/19/2010




I would leave now as your family is not going to be happy with the fact that you put on a show all of the holidays giving them false hope. They are not stupid and will pick up on the atmosphere. If you feel you can be honest then do so why drag it out any futher. Be strong and do what best suits you.

JuLeah - posted on 12/18/2010




Follow your heart. If your husband and you can talk, then do so about what you want. If you be happy telling a lie? Will they be happy feeling the unspoken tension that has not been named?
Truth can be a gift

Katherine - posted on 12/18/2010




I would wait until after the holidays if you think you can make it through them. I have a 21mo and she is very well aware that daddy isn't around as much. They are smart at that age, but they won't remember.

[deleted account]

If it will be a big deal with everyone I'd wait until after the holidays.

My sister's ex gave her divorce papers on Mother's day. Two months after loosing their son to cancer.

Timing for these things can be everything.

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