[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )
I am a step-mother to a 19-year old who lives with his mother full-time. Before he turned 18 he visited us every other weekend (according to the child custody agreement). He plans to go to college in the fall (paid for by his grandfather) and asked us for financial help with his car insurance. We wrote out an agreement outlining our expectations which included things such as being a full-time student and seeing us two times per month and certain holidays. He agreed that it was reasonable and signed it.
It has been over one month since he's been to our home. School starts next week and we haven't seen any documentation of him being registered. When we brought this up to him via text (the only way he seems to communicate), he has said he's been 'too busy' to call or stop by. If he is 'too busy' now (only working 10 hours a week) he will obviously use that excuse once school starts.
My instinct is to say that since he has broken the agreement we are not paying for your insurance. Financial support to an adult is not an expectation but a gift or privilege. To understand that he is to contribute and not just take. However, I am worried that if we do not pay for his insurance he will drive uninsured, possibly get pulled over, and have legal consequences.
Are we expecting too much from him too soon? I also worry that he would use us not paying for his insurance as an excuse to cut ties with us.
UPDATE: Just to clarify. We only asked that we see him two times a month (2 days of his choosing....maybe an hour or two at a time). He is also planning to attend school locally while living at his Moms.