Finding Faith

Cristina - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




To cut an extremely long story short, I was born and raised a Catholic, fell away from the Church, tried going to several different religious gatherings (mosque, temple, etc) to try and find answers, but then became a Christian again several years after. I just had my first child and I'm a proud stepmom.

Here's where it gets difficult, my fiancee is against religion, but believes in God. My stepdaughter is a 7th Day Adventist, and my family (the Catholic side) is pressuring me to have my baby baptized. My belief is that to force any religion on him would be detrimental. I think that a person has to find their faith on their own and that there is no certain age that it "should" be ascertained by. It took me 22 years to find my faith and I don't feel I should commit my son to something that he may not accept in the future. We plan to raise him with good morals and values, but at the same time, I feel that I should expose him to several different faiths so that he can see the diversity in life and religion.

I feel that I'm right, but I can't help but feel guilty, as if I'm being unfaithful to my religion. What do you all think?


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Jocelyn - posted on 01/12/2011




I believe you are right as well! But that being said, if you feel guilty, then just baptize him. A few sprinkles of water isn't going to do anything in the long run. I was baptized (some sort of as a baby and I turned out Pagan! As long as you are exposing your son to other religions, and allowing him to make his own informed decision when he's older-which you've stated that you will-, then you are doing the right thing.

Pamela - posted on 01/12/2011




Do you mean when you say "became a Christian again" you returned to the Catholic faith?

Raise your child in your faith, but allow him to explore at the same time when he gets older. He'll pretty much just accept what you believe until he hits his teens and then he'll start to probably question everything.

You are absolutely correct in the assertion that we all must find our own faith - and this truth applies to all of us, even our children. Have no fear, your son will question and may even reject (if only for a time) your faith. But I think that is part of the process of growing as humans.

I would discuss with my spouse on the baptism thing. If your husband is against it, then I would respect his wishes on that. I personally do not believe in infant baptism - I believe that is something we do as adults after making a decision of following Christ. That isn't an issue I would get all freaked out over though. Catholics do believe in infant baptism.

We did have our sons dedicated as small children (my youngest was only a few months old; my oldest was about 2.5 years of age). An infant dedication is similar to baptism but without the "now my kid will go to heaven if she/he dies". It is merely an acknowledgment before our church community that we as Christian parents will be raising our children within the Christian faith and community.

Your husband may not want that and if he doesn't, I wouldn't get my knickers in a knot over it. This is a decision that you and your husband, as the baby's parents, need to make. If you are no longer holding to the Roman Catholic faith, there is no reason to have your son baptized Roman Catholic. You are not being unfaithful to your religion - and even if you are a practicing Catholic now, I don't think you're being unfaithful to your religion. This is just something you and your hubby should decide together.

Sharon - posted on 10/14/2009




This is easy.

If your husband believes in God but not organised religion he shouldn't object to the baptism.

Your son is free to reject the religion when he becomes aware. No one who was raised in one religion and changes later in life feels any regret - the religion they have left behind means nothing. Its a false path to them. So they are not committed to anything.

The only issues that come up when someone leaves a religion are issues with the family.

I was raised Baptist. But I was allowed to attend any church I wanted to with friends so I could see all the different ones. Catholic mass, jewish synagogues, a Hindu ceremony, protestant, lutheran, you name it, I've been there.

In the end I've settled for non denominational christian. I believe in God and his son and since I'm an intelligent human being - I'm perfectly capable of interpreting the bible myself. I go to church when I feel I need a dose of spirituality. I've tried several churches. But none call to me.

Raise your child in your religion but give him the freedom to explore all the options when he wants to.

Maria - posted on 10/14/2009




Hi, Cristina. Do what you feel instinctively is right for you and your children. I was born and raised a Catholic, strayed away and found my way back to my faith. I married a non-practicing Methodist. And, although my parents are devout Catholics, my children were baptized in the Catholic church. My husband, I will not force to do so. I feel that when he's ready, he'll let me know. We've been married for 19 years, he joins me in mass services, except for the Eucharistic celebration. Having gone through years of theology and Catholic school all my life, I felt that I don't want my children to go through what I went through. I don't want to force religion upon them. I would like to introduce faith into their lives, embrace it and live it. My children are 17 & 16, my oldest is questioning my faith. But, at this age, they question everything and not want to listen to what mom and dad has to say without proving, like you would a theory. I don't think he realizes that our theory is that you practice what you preach. So, we try to live our faith, teach our morals and values and pass it on to them, so they can live it. As for believing in God, somehow, I do believe that God works in mysterious ways and things have a way of working themselves out in time.

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