First child and terrified. Advice?

Erika - posted on 08/17/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am 25 and almost 7 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm not married but my boyfriend is extremely supportive and I think is looking to propose which I am happy about. However.. I feel very alone right now. I will be so excited about this baby one minute and then completely panicked the next. I'll be sitting in a restaurant and suddenly realize I'm going to have to always have a baby in tow. I've always been in love with babies ever since I was a toddler and I am a great babysitter. I couldn't wait to have kids. Now that it's happening sometimes I really don't want it. My boyfriend works out of town a lot and I am college and will be alone a lot. I don't really feel adoption or abortion is an option for me. Sometimes I love my baby.. sometimes I dont. I feel horribly guilty about these feelings. It seems every time I feel unhappy about this pregnancy is when I feel sick. Which is a lot. I feel like I cant live like this for another 7 some months... My family is Catholic and I'm afraid they will shun me. My parents won't but my grandmother and aunts and cousins might. My mother is making me feel like this is so wrong but I need her to be happy for me. Why do I keep changing my mind about how I feel about this baby? My boyfriend doesn't understand what it's like to be pregnant and my friends with kids have never felt this way. Help?


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Michelle - posted on 08/18/2016




The sickness shouldn't last for your whole pregnancy so soon you should feel great and be able to enjoy it. Once you feel the baby move you will probably feel a lot better towards it. At this early stage all you have is sickness and lethargy and it's hard because you don't look pregnant or feel pregnant.
In regards to your family, we can't really help with that. It's not as if you are 16 and pregnant, you are an adult and can make your own choices. If your family can't accept how you want to live your life then maybe distancing yourself from them for a while would be good.

His - posted on 08/18/2016




Dear Erika, Do Not Panic. What your experiencing is not at all uncommon. In fact it's healthy. You are realizing that this is a life changing event. Your being honest about your feelings. Maybe some are not as accustomed of being so honest about feelings. Don't try to figure out how everything is going to work. Take one day, one step at a time. I will tell you that being a mom is the best thing ever. It's hard sometimes. I'm not going to lie. But it is amazing. Once your baby is born you will experience a love you can not even imagine right now. There are some great books out there that will help. One of them is "What to Expect When Your Expecting" by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel. It's great that your boyfriend is supportive. You will work things out one day at a time. Don't be fearful. Find yourself a good support group of young moms. baby would be worth checking out. Also should be helpful to find a support group in your area. Surround yourself with positive friends and family. Avoid the negative ones. One day at a time dear one. (((HUG)))

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