first time mom

Mel - posted on 10/13/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My baby boy is 2.5months and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong....I EBF but now I'm noticing that he won't go to bed with anyone but me (breast), we have no real schedule because I thought he was to young to establish one and now we are paying for it. My question is how do you moms get the hang of this, what bad habits should I be trying to break? Or should I just calm down and stop putting so much pressure on myself????

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Katherine - posted on 10/16/2013

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I understand where you're coming from but I have a son who just turned one year and the one thing I've learned in that year is to let go of all the stuff you think you're "supposed" to be doing. I worried a lot about when and how to set a schedule and what horrible habits I was establishing and eventually I realized that as long as our routine was working for me, my huband, and our son, that it didn't really matter what anybody else thought of it. If nursing him to sleep works for your family, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. My son still doesn't have a strict schedule - like taking his morning nap at exactly the same time each day. Babies aren't machines or robots and their schedules may change day to day. Sometimes he goes down for his morning nap at 9:30, sometimes he isn't tired until 10:30, sometimes he sleeps for close to 2 hours, sometimes it's only an hour.
My advice would be to go with the flow and do what works for you guys. At 2.5 months, my son was still sleeping in our room and almost always nursed to sleep. We transitioned him to his crib when he was ready and he now sleeps there fine. Sometimes he still nurses to sleep and sometimes not but either way he goes down without a fuss. It will all work out. Try and just enjoy this time with your son - he won't always be this little and one day you'll miss the one on one time that nursing provides. Again, I don't see anything wrong with doing whatever will get you through these early days and nights.

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Mel - posted on 10/16/2013

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It makes me feel so much better hearing from all of you amazing moms!! I guess I am overdoing it and adding more stress and pressure yhen I need too, life is stressful enough right!? I really appreciate the feedback, thanks ladies!!!

Mel - posted on 10/16/2013

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Thank you Naomi!! I've got our night routine down pretty good but yes he does fall asleep at the breast usually. ....if I could get him to take a pacifier it would be easier to break him of this but its just trading one habit for the other

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When I was a new mother, I always had that guilty feeling. Compared myself to other mothers. Do not let anyone intimidate you. I was never good at putting them to sleep easily. A lot of time they would fall asleep right after they nurse. The child will make the schedule for you. A simple night routine would be sufficient.

Pramila - posted on 10/13/2013

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Yes I did thw bathing most nights.. feed him and once he falls asleep put him into his crib... if he wakes up a few mins later thats when I would sing to him.. of that doesn't. Then step away and let him cry it out for a bit x

Mel - posted on 10/13/2013

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What age did you start doing that?? I think I'm starting his nighttime routine to late because I bathe him each night (not with soap everyday) and sing to him while I get him dressed and ready for bed then I feed him and he always falls right to sleep on me....should I break him off while hes eating and put him in his crib???

Pramila - posted on 10/13/2013

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My 5 month old son had a nice little routine until he just stopped and turned into a little monsternone night hahahah.
Do not be hard on yourself as it is not your fault what so ever... if he needs comforting comfort him as much as you want during the day. But when night comes try putting him into his crib and let him cry for a few mins if he doesnt settle. Remember that just because you're letting him cry out does not mean you aee abandoning him because yoh are not! First day it will be 2 mins cry then a week later it will be 10secs.. dont beat yourself about it. Make sure they are not hungry and are comfortable and give it a go? I never let my som cry for more then 4 minutes though. X

Mel - posted on 10/13/2013

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Thanks Stephanie....I'm trying to chill out but I can see the error of my ways with my son and I'm unsure how to undo it. I was putting him to breast every time he wanted, he very rarely goes to bed/nap without being on the breast which I don't really mind but since he won't go to sleep for anyone else and because he constantly on me its making doing anything else very difficult.

Stephanie - posted on 10/13/2013

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I am also a new mom. My baby is a little older. He is now 6months old. I notice my son would have a schedule and then it changes. It was never constant. Don't be hard on yourself, it'll get better as your baby grows older. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

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