First time mom needing help from "Pro" moms!!!

Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I just recently gave birth to a wonderful daughter 5 weeks ago, the begining of my daughters life was full of stress from day one, Im breast feeding and not producing much at all, I am also a single mom but lving with her father who helps only a little, Im up most of the night with her while he sleeps through the night. I want to stop breast feeding due to not producing much and Im having a hard time with trying to get her on a set schedule as well. Im completly stressed out and cried a few times. What in the word should I do???

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Michelle - posted on 08/03/2012

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I had the same problem when I had my son breast feeding became very stressfull because he didn't get enough nutrients and so not only was he miserable but so was I . I know everyone will say breast is best but honestly a happy healthy baby is more important I switched to formula he stopped being hungry and life settled into a nice pattern I started getting more sleep and we were all happier

Kaitlin - posted on 08/03/2012

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First of all, you need to get out with other moms. Look into the hospital near you, or check out your local MOMS group (international group, check them out online) or check your library schedule. Having real live moms to chat with in person is a big help.

Second, realize that it is okay to struggle and it's okay to ride that emotional roller coaster. It's hard. It's tiring, and it's crazy hormonal. Maybe talk with your doctor (do you have a six week check up coming up soon?) because they can help (not just with drugs, though that is an option) if you are having any level of PPD



Third, I would call up the hospital and see if you can speak with a lactation consultant before you throw in the towel on breastfeeding. If you decide to discontinue breastfeeding, don't let people make you feel bad, formula isn't the enemy (though many people would like you to believe that). However, perhaps there are some ways to change your situation and make it easier. A lactation consultant can help you make an informed decision and then, if you choose formula, can help you choose one. I would ask your OBGYN (again, if you don't have a 6 week check up soon, schedule one, or make another appt with them to ask some questions).



You may not feel like you are making enough but here are some signs that you are: if you were engorged around the second week of birth, if baby has at least 6 wet diapers a day, if baby is growing and thriving and having even small windows of activity, you are most likely making plenty. She may be fussing/acting hungry all the time if she's just 'snacking' instead of having full feedings, or if she's not getting the hind milk (fatty milk at the end of a feeding)- you can try just feeding on one breast and letting her empty and then the other breast during the next feeding, etc. You can also try to stretch to two and a half or three hours between feedings (takes a day or two of some frustration, but can help turn snackers into more focused eaters). My first was a champ, ate 15 min on both sides, then done. My second SUCKED. He was such a snacker and it was super frustrating. But it ended up getting better.



At five weeks, babies still don't have a regular schedule, and that's completely okay. The few and far between babies that have schedules down are great, but not the norm. Try doing a pattern during the day called EASY (though it's not always easy, lol) Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time. The first few days can be tough because lots of babies like to fall asleep right after eating, and in the weather we're having in my town (hot, humid, eew) it can be even more difficult to get baby to eat and stay awake. It worked really well with my first two until we got on a real routine (nap two to three times a day, bed at 7, etc) and we're starting our third. Then at night, try to keep it quiet, dimly lit or use a night light, and don't play with baby at all during feedings (this was tough for me, they are SO darn cute atnight, even when you are SO TIRED.)



Anyway, I feel for you, I really do. It does get better. Get some support, give yourself a break, and enjoy your baby.

User - posted on 08/03/2012

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having a baby is full of stress, crying, and not knowing what to do. Im no "pro mom" but i saw that you had no responses. My daughter is 15 weeks old and she is my first. So i can really relate to you. My husband works the night shift so he is gone from 2:30pm to 1/1:30am, He goes to bed at 3am and wakes up at 11am. then the whole process starts over a few hours later. I feel like i have to do EVERYTHING, and well, I am. The one thing that i do suggest is to not stop breastfeeding, if you feel like you are not making enough milk talk to a lactation consultant. you might just think you arent making enough. you should count all the wet and dirty diapers you change and track her weight and that will help you to see how much your baby is getting. for a while my little one was going to sleep at 6am because she would wait for papa to get home, and then wanted to comfort nurse a few hours. it was exhausting. It is going to be hard. Dont expect it to change anytime soon because you will just get frustrated. schedules are a very difficult thing and will take a lot of time. one thing i wish i did was start a bedtime routine earlier. I'm sorry i dont have any expert advice for you but i hope it makes you feel a little better knowing you are not alone.

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