Firstly to say hi

Caroline - posted on 07/11/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I just joined this group, my name is Carol.

I am wanting support and guidence through a separation issue.
My ex and I were never married and we have been separated for 10 years. I live in Australia and moved here from NZ to join him so my daughter will not grow up with out a father and to finally see if we can make anything of what we had in NZ. I know this was a big dicission on my part but I felt it was the best (well ok at the time it did) Anyway to cut a long story as short as possible, I have been here in Australia for 12 years with no family and believeing that my ownly support was my ex.

I finally meet someone really wonderful last year in July and started a medialtion process with my ex in November last year. All went well, he agreed to everything but has not signed the agreement forms to make our parenting plan legally binding even thou he agreed with it to my solicitor. I am wondering now what is my best next step to take.

In the past he has talked nasty about me to our daughter and I do feel he is still mucking up her mind with all different things he shouldn't be. I have felt for the past two years I have been living with a spy and she has said things to me like "the money dad gives you is mine" and "dad is taking you to court and I can't wait".

Anyone with any advice or input I would much appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you and wishing everyone the happyness we are all searching for.

Carol

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Caroline - posted on 07/11/2012

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Hi Kathrine and thank you for your lovely response.
My daughter is 12 going on 13 in Feb. Yes your right him speaking ill of me won't stop and in time I know my daughter will see the truth when she is older. I have spoken with her about the money what it is for and she is just being hateful because her dad has put so much in her mind using her as a weapon against me.(if that makes sense)

He has always done so talked about about me to her and has played with her love for him also. He is a mind game player and unfortunately my daughter is stuck with trying to please him all the time for his love, instead it should be coming unconditionally for her from him.

Now I am just wanting to know what my next step is as he has not signed the agreement forms with my solicitor for our parenting plan so it will be legally binding, he has agreed to it all but has not signed it. I think he is still fighting to have everything his way and under his control. BUT no I won't have it.

Again thank you for your response and wishing you all the best.

Keep safe

Carol

Katherine - posted on 07/11/2012

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How old is your daughter? Speaking ill of you to her probably isn't going to change. What you CAN do is have a little chat with her. I would tell her that no, the money is not "hers" it's to help take care of her ie: clothes, food, college, and things that you need also. I would ask her why she was being so hateful too. And what her father said.

I would make it clear that you are not going to put up with this kind of behavior!

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