Fitting in w/ the school mothers for my daughter-Is it a requirement?

Anna - posted on 05/19/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is in 2nd grade. She is a sweet and friendly little girl but can be shy and sensitive at times. Her teacher also agrees she is well behaved and respectful toward her classmates.
My concern..she doesn't seem to have a close friend and seems to be alone most of the time in the school setting. On the surface she appears to be "happy" but I wonder if she is sad and feels lonely and she is not expressing her feelings. I tried to guide her on how to initiate playtime during recess. Also, I have initiated playdates and called the mothers....but there is no reciprocation. On occasions when I go to school events (field day..plays) and observe the surroundings all the girls and boys are joking around and playing and talking and it seems the mothers are doing the same thing. My daughter is more of the observer just looking around...
I am on the quiet side and so I stand most of the time by myself. I cannot help but wonder ...should I be more involved in school functions....(PTA...etc) for the sake of my daughter and her social life?????
Is it a requirement today to be socially involved with the parents and school functions for my daughter to fit in? I do not like drama and gossip. I just want my daughter to be happy and have a few friends. Also, my concern is...she is in second grade now...this upcoming September she will be in third grade. Will the cliqueness get worse?

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Anna - posted on 05/19/2016

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In the morning she attends a science club at her school, but unfortunately I am unable to observe her in the setting and she doesn't seem to mention any friends she chats with in the club (even when I try to ask).
Also, she is in gymnastics after school one time a week. She loves attending gymnastics and the exercise but doesn't seem to socialize with the other girls. She just looks on or stands by them as they are chatting..I will try to get her involved in more activities after school in a smaller group setting and observe. Maybe I should get a book on self esteem and friendships? Thank you. :)

Dove - posted on 05/19/2016

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Many girls (though certainly not all) ARE cliquey, unfortunately. Are there any after school activities that she might enjoy...? Gymnastics, dance, soccer, music or art classes? Getting involved in a small group activity that she enjoys might be enough of a confidence booster to help her get more involved socially.

IMO... no, it's not a requirement to be involved in PTA and things like that. I've never been involved in... pretty much anything. Then again... I have 3 fairly outgoing children. I do have one (9th grade now) that basically doesn't talk to ANYONE during the entire school day unless she has to... but she is also still quite involved in activities outside of school and has several really good friends (including her twin sister... so there's that...lol).

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