foster adopt chronic stealing problems

Suzanne - posted on 05/27/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Please give me ideas in how to discuss stealing with my adopted son. He is 9 and has started stealing things from the pantry to kids at school.


Sarah - posted on 05/27/2014




Stealing can be a very common thing with children that were adopted as an older child. First find out why he is stealing. What is he stealing? If it is just food type items he might be needing reassurance that there will be food for him. If he was neglected or from an orphanage food may not have always been there. So the need to take food might come from that. How to help him understand it is ok and that food will always be there if he needs it is by having an area or certain foods that are left out that he can always have access too. At school allowing him to have snacks that he can snack on throughout the day also giving him the reassurance that food will always be there. You may need to talk with the school about how that can be worked out.

If he is stealing more then just food items then the issue might be with boundaries and attachment. This might be a life long lesson for him and something he may struggle with throughout his life. If it is a boundary issue then it is working on teaching him appropriate boundaries and how his actions affect others. You may want to seek out counseling to help with these issues. A good book if you have not read it is called "Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis. It will give you GREAT insight and understanding on where your son is coming from and where/how to move forward.

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