Found a text from my 16 year old daughter to a friend (girl) that my daughter was telling the friend she is in love with her and it hurts my daughter so much that she and the friend no longer speak and that she sits in class and just looks at her and wants her to know how she feels and begging the friend to give my daughter a chance... I'm so confused because my daughter has boyfriends but nothing really serious and she often tells me about a boy she has a crush on but none of her relationships with boys last. It seem like as soon as they try to get too close she ends it. Is my daughter gay or am I over reacting?

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Sarah - posted on 11/24/2014

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You probably feel a little helpless, I know how scary and unnerving it can be dealing with teens and sex. Just letting her know that you love her, you are there for her and will always respect her choices and privacy. I know you said this to her, but consider writing her a letter reinforcing your feelings. Then you can leave it for her to read in private. You do not need to address anything specific, just tell her you cherish her and that she can always come to you for anything.
It is embarrassing for kids to open up to their parents but just knowing that you have her back may open the door a bit. If you have problems with the possibility of her being gay then start working through that in you head or with someone you trust. Like you said, (whatever will be will be) and it changes how you picture her future.

Mandi - posted on 11/24/2014

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Hi Sarah,

I did ask her about it and if she was gay or thought that she might be gay and she got angry and said "it's not what you think and not really any of your business mom..." So I told her that no matter what it is i still love her and nothing can or will ever change that, and i left the room because i could tell she was not up for anymore conversation.
A few days later she and i were talking and she opened up but only a little. She said that its hard for her to explain because (Maddie) is the only girl she has ever felt this way about. So I guess I will just have to wait and see. (What Ever Will Be Will Be) And I will love and except what ever she is....

Mandi

Sarah - posted on 11/21/2014

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You will only know what is going on if you ask your daughter. I'd be very careful to not be judgmental or say something unkind. She is your daughter, gay or not. It is unfortunate that she hasn't discussed this with you for whatever reason. Perhaps you are reading way too much into this text and the sooner you ask her the better.

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