Found out babysitter has a sex offender in home

Teresa - posted on 06/07/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )




I found out my babysitter has her son in the home and he is a known sex offender , she seems to be a sweet lady and my daughter who just turned one in january started going there in November of last year when I started working. She has'nt been to the sitters all this week and I don't plan on taking her back but should I tell her the reason why ? A friend of mine said oh she's already been going there for almost a year and I responded by saying why in the hell should I continue to let her go there when my intuition is telling me that I need to find another sitter . My sister claims I told you that her son was a sex offender and what he did and that she doesn't leave the kids alone with him, my sisters kids use to go there . Please give me some advice in what to tell this lady....


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Teresa - posted on 06/12/2013




Carrie he lives there and guess what I find this hard to believe I called the probation office And they said in this state it is not against the law for a sex offender to be around children or else that's a part of their probation & I'm not sure what his guidelines are, but that doesn't matter he's still a sex offender who's likely to reoffend again

Kristen - posted on 06/10/2013




Well if she is running a home daycare by law he can't be there when any child care children are and if he is she can get in trouble... Not sure state you are in but I know in Missouri that a child care isn't suppose to have any convicted felons in house hold while child care children are there. Never even suppose to have them living there if in home daycare. I know this cuz I was a registered provider for a little while... Many have said there are many reasons why someone may be on offenders list. If his offense involved a child I do not blame you at all even if not I still don't blame you either. Doing what you feel safe for your child is always best. It does suck to have to changed providers but she will adjust and maybe like the next place better.

Rebekah - posted on 06/10/2013




You did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing is difficult and sometimes not everyone is happy with your choice, but its still the right thing to do. I gather by your response that you are a kind-hearted person, and it probably bothers you to say something to this woman that might have offended her. It can be hard to take a stand. But still, if you expressed your feelings honestly and were compassionate with her, then you did the best you could in a tough situation. This whole thing is a result of the behaviors of her son...sometimes people's bad behaviors have these ripple effects that reach way beyond themselves. You are not the bad guy. You are doing what you need to to ensure your daughter's safety. This woman is making a choice to keep her son in her home and all the ramifications that go along with that. You are not responsible for her choices.

This feeling will pass. Its strong now because you just dealt with it and it must have stirred things up in you, but it will subside. Remind yourself why you did what you did and know that we support you here. People will come and go from our lives in various circumstances; your daughter will get through this and will find connections with others. Stay strong and spend some extra quality time with your daughter.

Teresa - posted on 06/10/2013




I would like to thank everyone for there much so needed advice. I stopped by my sitters house on today & told her that I would not be bringing my daughter back. The sitter said now you know I wouldn't let anyone harm that child and I replied by saying I know. She also said she wasn't putting her son out and I replied by saying I didn't ask you to. I don't know why but I feel bad as hell even though I know deep down inside I made the right decision . I was even about to cry because my daughter was very attached to her. I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way . Someone please help .....

Ev - posted on 06/08/2013




And you can also go to the public records in your area and see for yourself who is on that list and what for and if they can be around children or not. Also the law enforcement in your area is supposed to announce to those in the area when a sex offender is moving in so they know. If you know the name of this man you can also go online and find the information as well to see what is going on. Going on the words of people third hand is not good either but always check out the facts when someone tells you something. I would also talk to the sitter and tell her why you have not brought the child back to her and why. Also tell her that she could be reported for having a sex offender in her home if he is not supposed to be around children.

CarrieCogswell - posted on 06/08/2013




There are many reasons a person is on a sex offender list so I think it's only fair you discuss it with the babysitter. That being said, if he is really a sex offender, I find it hard to believe he can live in the home with a day care provider.

Mary - posted on 06/08/2013




The whole situation is confusing, to be honest. Did the son just move back into the home? What is his offense? I don't mean to minimize the whole sex-offender status, but I also know that there are a vast array of offenses that fall under the sex-offender umbrella, some of which aren't a clear cause for concern in this scenario. For example, if the son was labelled because at 18, he was dating a 15 y/o, I'm not sure that I'd be too bugged by it.

Ultimately, you have to be totally comfortable with wherever and whomever your child is left with. However, you also have to remember that this woman has done nothing wrong by your child. You do owe her the courtesy of an explanation.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2013




Well, who knows the reason he is on the sex offenders list. It could be anything from dating someone younger than him, to rape. It is a scary world out there. I personally would be honest with the sitter and let her know you are uncomfortable with the situation, but that you appreciate all the time she has given you and your daughter.

But i will say I am confused also. When did you find out he was a sex offender? Talking to this women about your concerns may open her eyes and see that running a daycare out of her home with a registered sex offender living there may not be the smartest of moves. I wonder if that is even legal.

Kristi - posted on 06/08/2013




I'm confused here...did you know your sitter's son was a sex offender before last week when you decided to stop taking your daughter there? You said your sister told you what this man did. Was that prior to you taking your daughter to this sitter?

It kind of sounds to me like you knew all about her son but took your daughter there anyways. Now, for whatever reason, his status bothers you and you want to stop taking your daughter there (totally reasonable) but you don't want to admit that to her.

I'll tell you this right now. Had my child been going to a sitter who's son was a sex offender, (which I have a hard time even stating as a hypothetical because I would research anyone watching my child. Hell, I ran background checks on the people my child is babysitting for.) only I did not know that until a year later all hell would break loose. If I was able to control myself and not go cut the bitch first, I'd call the cops immediately and report both of them. Meanwhile, we'd be on the way to the nearest ER to have my daughter examined for any signs of abuse or trauma. If there was anyway to sue them, I would do that too. You do not f*** with my children in any way, shape, form or appearance. Basically, the law would do the talking for me.

Since it's unclear to me what your situation with her truly is, it's hard to say what you should tell her. I'm usually a fan of honesty even when it's difficult and/or uncomfortable. Good luck and I hope you do a little more research when choosing your next childcare provider.

Rebekah - posted on 06/07/2013




Be honest. Its unfortunate, but this is one of the consequences that comes with a person's behavior. If this woman wants to watch children, she needs to understand that most rational people are not going to allow it unless she does not have an offender in her home. Who would want to take a chance with their child? The stakes are too high. Just tell her that you are uncomfortable now that you know that her son is present and you need to do what your gut tells you.
Depending on the state you live in, his legal status (on probation?), and what the court has decided for him, its possible he may not even be allowed to be around children. If that's the case, he (and his mother) could be jeopardizing his status. I don't know this guy's particular crime, but I'm a bit surprised that this sitter isn't more concerned for the children she's bringing into her home. Its her son...maybe she doesn't see the threat? Anyway... I'm making assumptions...
Time to remove your daughter from what may be a potentially bad situation (and for all we know, a loaded family situation) and find a healthier option. Good luck.

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