Chantell - posted on 07/07/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )
Hi everyone I am in desperate need of some advice please! My ex and I have three children together, we split close to 10 years ago, he moved out the day after my youngest child's 1st birthday and my other two children who are twins were 3 years old at the time, also during this time child support payments have been very sporadic because he changes jobs often and lies about his earnings which landed him $16,000 in cs arrears over the years. About six months later I met my current partner and we have had a child also. My problem starts with the fact my older three children think my current partner is their biological dad because they never had any contact with their real father after we split except for about the two months following in which he was very unreliable, lied about not being able to have the kids for whatever reason etc. I did get one phone call the day I came home from hospital after having my fourth child but nothing came of it. So for the past ten years he has basically not even existed to us. So this is my first dilemma, how do I tell them the man that has raised you isn't your biological father and then to answer all the other questions that will no doubt come with it. My second problem is that recently got two friend request on Facebook from my ex, which I deleted but yesterday went into my 'others folder' and found a msg from him asking to contact our three kids. This msg has literally made me sick with worry (I also suffer depression and extreme anxiety) as I don't know what to do, say or expect, I haven't even told my partner yet as I know he will be deverstated, or anyone else. Help I don't know what to do!