Friend moving and afraid wont see her again

Sarahpeterson4ever - posted on 04/19/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am so upset, this friend from church is leaving and applying for a religious ministry school out of state in the fall and then right after that is moving out of state to be with her boyfriend who is in the military and is stationed there next. Like forever. On top of that, she hasnt been going to small group and wont be going for the next month because shes in a play, and then she has a wedding to go to this summer that she is going to instead of going on this church road trip. Apparently the dates have already been set so she knows she wont be able to go on the trip. So I will never be able to see her ever again after this summer and on top of that she wont even be going on the church road trip which will be the last opportunity to go on the road trip with her ever! She said she wished she could go but had a close childhood friends wedding that same weekend.When I asked if she would ever be going on the trip again or if I would ever see her again she said ehh probably, we will see, I mean Im going to be so busy with my boyfriend aka future husband and we cant go on trips with the church or see each other forever. Like it was no big deal! Omg! I am so upset and she doesnt even care that she wont ever see me again.
I was just wondering if it would be unreasonable to ask the pastor to change the date of the trip (in August) so that she can go since this is the last chance I have at going on a trip with her and I wont ever see her again. And I cant drive so its not like I can just go visit her either.
Do you think I could ask her if we could plan a road trip of our own?

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Dove - posted on 04/19/2016

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Um... yes, it is 100% unacceptable to ask the pastor to change the dates of a trip just to accommodate one person. How could you even think that would be OK?

I know you are upset about your friend leaving and that is completely understandable... but life happens. Distance does not prevent friendships from continuing in this age of technology. Is it the same as face to face hang outs? No, but that doesn't mean the relationship has to end. If you are both important to each other then distance will not end the friendship. If either of you is not invested... it's more harmful for the invested one to keep clinging on than to let go and develop other relationships.

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Michelle - posted on 04/19/2016

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Friends come and go through our life. There are so many ways to keep in touch these days though.
It sounds like she is moving on with her and she's entitled to do that. You do sound like you're a bit clingy to her and maybe you need to find a bigger group of friends.
Asking for a trip date to be changed is a bit extreme to just spend time with someone. I think you need to let go and live your own life, it's not healthy to be so upset about a friend not spending time with you.

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