Frustrated and don't know what to do

Mary Beth - posted on 07/09/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi, I am new to the group. My aspie son is 19. He is very high functioning. He was diagnosed when he was in fourth grade.
I am at a loss! I feel like we are constantly walking on egg shells. We can't even say one word to him without his jaw clenching and body stiffening. I recently asked why he is so angry all the time. His response was he doesn't want to be here any more. It broke my heart. He just graduated from high school and is working. He is planning to serve a mission for our church and hopes to leave the end of September. I don't know how he can even go on a mission with his recent disrespect for authority. We can't even say good morning without feeling like all the hairs on his neck are sticking up. He doesn't do what he is asked and if we take the car away or try to discipline any other way, somehow we are the monsters. Can I leave, sometimes I wish I could. I don't know how to handle him. I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. He acts like an entitled spoiled brat. He didn't used to be this bad. Now he tells me he is an adult and can do what he wants. Yes, legally he is an adult. He doesn't act like a responsible adult. I'm not supposed to ask him questions. He says I ask too many questions. How else am I supposed to find out what is going on in his life? I want to tell him to get out. I'm usually the patient parent. My husband said if I tell him to get out we will lose him. That is usually my roll, keeping the peace. I am out of patience. I'm tired of trying to not let my feelings be hurt and crying all the time.
I'm tired of the rudeness and disrespect. He is so mean to his younger siblings. It just breaks my heart. I don't know what to do!! I don't know how to help him. Any suggestions would be great.


Amaze - posted on 07/09/2015




Welcome to the forum, Mary! I certainly understand your frustration, but I'd like to encourage you to stay positive. Life with an aspie child can be a unique adventure in parenting, filled with unexpected joys and blessings. If you have never done so, please check out the book titled Dancing With Max: A Mother and Son Who Broke Free by Emily Colson. I hope it will be helpful to you.

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