Frustrated Mom ready to Kick almost 19 year old son out!

Allison - posted on 03/30/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have HAD IT, I am so exhausted to the point that it affects my health and livelihood. My son will be 19 in July but he has been a problem since 8th grade. It started with being rebellious, having problems in school, the school would call on a weekly basis with messages concerning his cutting classes, being suspended, placed in detention it just NEVER stopped. I placed my son in counseling for 2-3 years, it may have helped somewhat but the problems continued. It graduated to him stealing things out of my home to sell them, he stole my engagement ring and pawned it. He stole tools from the garage and sold them. He stole other jewelry of mine and sold he. He is VERY disrespectful, he does not respect me, has called me everything you can imagine. YES! he smokes pot I have found drug paraphernalia in my bathroom, sun porch, his room. I have also founds empty bottle of beer in his room closet. The police have been to my house more then 4 times for incidents my son has gotten into with his friends. He was declared with ADHD last year so he placed on Vasilis, he was so wicked he was selling his pills for money. I found this out by opening the pill bottle and almost half the pills were gone after I just picked up the new prescription 2 dyas before. I confronted him and he admitted it. At 19...there is no calm he continues to disrespect my rules. He is going to community college (I'm not even sure if he attends) he leaves every morning early on to get to school. He has a part-time job that he works from M-F. He has punch holes in the walls, doors, broke a 47" TV, thrown items across the room and at this point I am just in fear of my own safety. He is 6'1, 250 lbs. The other night he came in and forgot to close the garage door that leads into the house. Thank God the neighborhood is relatively safe but he left us unsecured all night with an open garage door. He FORGETS everything, when he uses POT he is more violent and just doesn't remember a thing. I am so exhausted, I am a single mom his father has been NO help over the years. I want to enjoy my life at some point, I can't continue to carry him. Today I told him he will have to give me a date THIS week, I want him to move out. My backup plan is that if he doesn't give me date then on the last day of semester classes which ends May 7th. I am locking him out of the house. All of the locks have already been changed, he has no access to my house unless I am home. I will pack his clothes in bags and leave them on the front porch with a list of shelters. I feel HORRIBLE, no parent would ever dream of this for their child. But I cannot continue to enable him. In life you will either pick yourself up by the bootstraps or fail and continue to fail at your own choice.

I would love to hear some of your comments. Am I doing the right thing? It Helps to Hear.

2 Comments

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Allison - posted on 03/30/2014

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Amarylis, Thank you so much for your comment AND your right I believe it's something heavier then just POT. If that is the case I am even more worried for my life and he will have to leave. I do intend to have the police on-hand at the time I ask him to vacate the house. I will also file a trespass order to ensure that he stays away. Thank you

[deleted account]

hate to say it but are you absolutely positive it is is pot? Lots of the drug paraphernalia look the same but they are not. I am NOT supporting pot but everyone I know that does it is not violent. They also are not thieves.
It sounds like he is into heavier drugs to me especially with stealing for it and becoming violent while high. If that is the case I understand it will be hard but for your safety and who ever else is living with you he needs to leave. All he needs is one pissed off drug dealer and then there could be real trouble.

With my experience with family the addict needs to hit rock bottom before they will get help and no one can force them to get hep. If he continues to have an "easy" life with a roof over his head he won't get help. You could even have the police present when you throw him out to make sure he doesn't become violent. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

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