Frustrated Mom, Upset, Hurt,

Michelle - posted on 03/09/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Often times we have invited my son's girlfriend to some family weekend getaways to basketball tournaments, waterpark getaways, etc. However, for the past three years we have gone to Girls State Basketball Tournament with just our immediate family (5). As we prepare this year my son assumed we would be taking his girlfriend with. I don't know why he assumed it because we have never asked her to go to the State Tournament before. He's 18 and has had to have some idea how expensive this can get with tickets alone being almost $500 for five people for three days plus hotel expenses for three nights. They both just assumed that she would be going. I personally think this is a great time to spend some time away from each other as they are together every day after school. My daughter who also has a steady boyfriend did not mention bringing him and I know she would be upset if we asked the girlfriend and not her boyfriend. I'm very sad because I believe he is choosing to spend time with her rather then with his family and I think they just assume we as parents should include her on everything and expected to pay for everything. Please help.

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Sarah - posted on 03/10/2016

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I agree to a point, at 18 he is an adult. However, he is still in HS and if his sister of another family member is playing the the state finals, the whole family should be there. I don't think you should force it, but let him know that you thin kit would be right for him to support his sister. If you have no family in the game, then I'd be less inclined to push him to go.

Raye - posted on 03/10/2016

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Just try to explain that it's tradition for this trip to just be for family only. Nothing personal against his girlfriend. If she were to come, it should not be on you to pay her way. Either your son and his girlfriend come up with the money to pay her way, or she doesn't go. If he chooses not to go because she can't, well, he's an adult, and can make the decision for himself.

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Michelle - posted on 03/09/2016

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I understand that he is an adult but he is in high school, she is not. They spend every waking moment together. He didn't have a problem going to the State Basketball Tournament with us when he thought she was coming with but now that she is not, he does not want to go. I appreciate your input, let me know.

MaryAnn - posted on 03/09/2016

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You shouldnt have to pay. But your son is an adult now, and its certainly only natural that he might sometimes (even often) choose to spend time with his girlfriend, and pull away from the family a bit. Its actually a wonderful thing, even though it may feel heartbreaking.

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