Fussy eater or not being encouraged?

Clare - posted on 10/08/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My daughter is 7yrs old and me and her mother dont get on very well so dont speak much too avoid conflick anyway ...... my ex keeps saying our daughter is a fussy eater now i dont want this to sound like im being picky as i no some kids can be genuinely fuss eaters i do have another 2 children as well but im un sure as to if this problem is due to daughter being fussy eater or shes not being encouraged to eat healthy. i have been given a list of foods that my daughter will eat from my ex its things like chips nugget sausage crisps and list of what she dont like including pasta potatoes vegs and most fruit, she will eat apple and grapes only fruit or veg thats on the list.

when on a visit to me she alway eats her breakfast she will have toast and eats it all no problem, from lunch time it gets hard we have done things that are on the list we given her butter sandwich (she dont like any fillings) and packet of crisps. she will start crying as soon as i tell her that lunch is ready and says things like im not hungry, i dont like thats (even tho its food on the list) my tummy hurts, i want my mum etc i try to encourage her which was starting to work but mother is now saying to court im force feeding so have to just let her off eating if she doesnt want it now.

then again at tea time we give her food from list 4 chicken nugget and hand full of chips. again she will cry say got tummy ache not hungry etc she hasnt had anythink since breakfast. on occasions i have contacted mum and explained the situation and shes said things like she eats like a horse at home, if she dont want to eat it then she dont have too, make sure u stick to food on the list. she never encourages her to eat its basicly if she dont want it, it dont matter.

she says she eats like a horse at home but i no that her mum takes her to mc donalds alot and she only had her fries and her nuggets went in her bag for later if she gets hungry but never eats them.

Before i got accused of force feeding our daughter i did manage to start encouraging our daughter to eat more veg and fruit but doing fruit smoothies (which she loved as she just seen it as a drink) and putting small portions or carrots, sweet corn etc on her plate for her to try and rewarding her if she did try it even if was only small amount it was progress but then i was being told i am force feeding her and had to stop it.

Hope i havent rambled on too much just getting frustrated with all the walls i keep coming against to get contact with my child. oh and ive been told she is being given energy drinks and falls asleep in classes and is behind in education which worrys me even more that it could be her diet.

To sum it up is she a fussy eater or is my ex not doing enough to encourage healthy eating?

she didnt no how to cook i had to do all the cooking and i even had to teach her how to use a microwave at the age of 26!

i had been doing like what you said add things in to her food so she dont no its there but she will just pick at her food (cant do much at the mo with her saying im force feeding her) even foods shes ment to like the most ive got her to eat was 3 home made chicken nuggets and approx 5 home made chips. she also get tummy ache and sore throat alot which mother gives her mints to suck on to make it better, i was thing this sounds like acid reflux maybe? i wish i could get something to prove my side in court.

the courts are saying to me that i need to stop talking about food as its a big issue due to daughter being fussy eater i will be making the situation worse. My daughter live 200miles away from me so not too sure about brushing teeth as never had any issue with that one but she does stay in bed till 10am at home at weekends but as far as i no during week she at school on time. im so concerned that she will grow up with eating problems because she hasnt seen healthy eating. how can i get my point across to the courts? my ex just lies and crys in court

we done diarys got text messages phone calls etc they not looking/listening to any of it. We also got a postcard for holiday she taken daughter on and told the school daughter was ill but the court wont look or listen to my evidence because the doctors have never seen any concern!

Sorry will stop going on now

im a very concerned dad want my kids to have a better upbring than i did hope some one can give me there advice option thankyou all for reading


View replies by

Clare - posted on 10/09/2012




thankyou for your answers its nice to know that i am on the same page as most just not my ex lol. ive done the same with my boys to get them to eat healthy my 5yr old eats most things and will try new when encouraged i think its more the words "force feeding" that scares me as the courts are taking this on as an issue i see it as encouraging i dont make her eat it i say if she does she will get a treat etc even if it the tinyest amount as you said they need to try it over n over before they will like it, it wont happen over night but im concerned because of the lack of food she takes in she is behind in school and also falls asleep in class she even complains of heart burn symptoms (which her mum gives her polos too suck on to get rid of it) i wouldnt say she staves her as such as she give her food but ive also contacted the school to see what her eatin is like and the school says she eats fruit and veg at school but mum is saying this is not true all i want is a happy healthy child with a good future ahead i dont want her having issues of not knowing how to eat healthy and the courts are saying i need to stick to the list of what she likes not aloud to encourage her to eat other foods its driving me crazy the situation with my ex is very complex and i know i cant change anythink whilest at her house i just think its a shame that she has to go thru with belly aches and possible heart burn as often as she does at her age

Ariana - posted on 10/08/2012




I would try to stop worrying about what she is or isn't eating at her moms house since you have no control over that.

Although you should never force your child to eat something she doesn't like encouring her to eat healthy is the responsible thing to do. The point is to not make it into a battle but also don't give in if she doesn't want to eat it. Your daughter will not starve if she refuses to make a meal you want. I would try to give her maybe one or two things on the list along with some other things you feel she might like. Encourage her but don't force her.

Unless she's being starved I don't think the courts can do anything about the eating things. If there is no medical consequences (she's not malnurished or anything) then there is nothing you can do legally. Luckely if there is no medical problem there is no reason to get to crazy about anything either.

I would get her to take some sort of childrens vitamin chewable while she is at your house. That way you know at least she'll be getting some of the vitamins and things she needs (read whatever dosage it says for a child her age).

Keep showing your daughter healthy eating at your house and encourage her to eat healthy. Offer her some food on her 'list' along with healthier foods. Give her great praise when she eats something new (even just a little). If she starts eating a new food consistantly (at least 5/6 times enjoying it) then tell the mother 'hey she'll eat this now'. I used to mix peas with my sons mashed potatoes and now he can eat them by itself. Try mixing vegetables in with foods she likes (like the smoothy idea you had).

Don't make this a big issue between your ex and you. You try to get her to eat properly, your ex will do what she's going to do. If your wife questions you about it tell her you aren't forcing her to eat anything she doesn't want and leave it at that. Do not make this into an argument.

Good luck! Keep encouraging without forcing and she'll be eating more foods in no time.

Michelle - posted on 10/08/2012




Your ex has created a fussy eater and unfortunately the only way to get a child to try something new is to make them try it. The reality is a child needs to try a specific food almost 20 times before they truly know if they don't like it. Prime example my son has told me most of his 11 years he did not like sweet potatoes this year he decided to try them for Thanksgiving supper because he said they smelt good. He loved them, same with my daughter, it used to be a fight to get her to eat any meat other than beef jerky now she eats steack, chicken, turkey and fish. Kids need to be encouraged to broaden their palattes

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